I hate my English language being tampered with. But nevertheless, I enjoy the various 'speakos' (like typos, u know. I have a copyright over this word, mind it rascala, be nice to me, I might be your lawyer tomorrow) and 'Englees' getting raped mercilessly. Here are some of the funniest 'speakos' (Btw, slip of the tongue is slip of the mind, those who laugh are very unkind, as my teacher used to say) that have come across me, rather than me coming across them.
1) The (in)famous delicious snakes to eat.
'Super lucky snakes'-- Thus, hangs a banner outside a restaurant.
OMG, I'm soooo hungry, I can eat sooo many snakes !!!!!! How about some ladders along with them, eh?
2) My hairs are long and awesome, naa?
Yeah, I don't want to cut my hairs. They have grown so long. Hey, even you have lovely hairs. Wowwwww.....
3) Hey, did you know, that there are more sheeps than people in Switzerland.....
Sheeps? Ba Ba black sheeps, have you any wools?
Yes Sir, Yes Sir, shut the fuck up, bloody fool.
4) Then, he actually hearded me ?!!!?!!?
And I wish I had gone deaf before I 'hearded' that....
5) Arre I don't care. Whatevers.
*Speechless*.
6) Ya, I alloweded him in my house.
You sure aren't alloweded in my house, if you speak like that !!!
7) I went into the question and tried to answering him.
Oh, playing hide and seek, naughty boy? Running inside the question, and then seeking the answer...
8) Aur dekhiye, behenji, yeh mast tops hai aapke liye...
Okay, you make me your sister firstly, you are excused for that. But listen, brother.
I.wear.only.ONE.TOP.
9) Hey hey hey, ek jocks bolu ??
(Translation for us normal human beings: hey hey hey, can I tell you one JOKES)
10) I will be found out for you by tomorrow.
Hmm, and I would rather you be 'lost out'today itself.
11) Yeah, the lecturer will be finished in an hour.
God, you not only kill English language, but you just killed the lecturer before he finishes his lecture!!!
That's all I have in the stores.
Drop in a comment about how your language has got raped. The most awesome and exciting rape gets an award in our next post....
Disclaimer: This post is not intended to target any specific person(s) or any group. It is written in good humour and based on personal experiences of the authoress (yes, all are personal experiences).
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