Wait, is that your Date?!

Only one among us SFTians is committed, and the rest of us are committed to being single (All you new readers, read our individual blogs to find out who’s the one who’s committed among us! Free publicity khekhekhe)

We singletons are a curious case of sour grapes. Hence, we have nothing better in life to do except to make fun of the existing couples and discourage the prospective couples ;)

If you are in the former category and if you are in the later category or if you are single and looking like us, here’s SFT bringing you the top 10 people you shouldn’t DARE TO DATE!



1) The Boss

One wrong move, and you lose your job and you blew your other job! ;)
Professionally and personally both, the boss is always right. Even if he’s hot, don’t you dare look at him for more than 30 seconds. The hot bosses are only for fantasizing purpose. No dating purpose.

2) The teacher’s daughter/son

You really don’t want to pick up your date from your teacher’s place, specially if you date on weekdays. Specially if the date didn’t go out well, (since you were busy on the phone fighting after the date, you conveniently forgot to do your homework) you could very well be told off in class, made to stand in the corner of the class, and also be given a memo to be signed by your parents. Grades could be at stake too, so a big thumbs down, however hot the stakes might be!

3) The Friend’s EX

How desperate can you get? When your friend axes, you grab at the ex! This is a total no-no.

4) The Business Partner’s daughter/ Family Friend

Firstly, not many Indian parents will be over the moon to find out that your inner motive of going to ‘Uncle’s place’ was not to look at his collection of novels, but was to hook up with one of his collection of pretty young things. And if things go wrong, your dad’s business be dammed and you my friend, should forget about grabbing any inheritance share in your dad’s property.

5) The Indian cricketer

Ok, so Dhoni saw Sakshi at this hotel and it was love at first sight for him, and he tried and tried for her and at last she surrendered. But girls, that was Dhoni. You have no options left now. Who do you want for a companion? Yuvraj Singh? Harbhajan Singh? Irfan Pathan was good, until we heard rumours of him and VJ Anusha. He’s seriously not keeping it stylish anymore, is he? There’s Virat Kohli, but his life is on the fast-track lately :P

6) Your next door neighbour

It’s as bad as having a live in relationship with no one to sleep with. You open the door, in shorts, uncombed hair, unwaxed legs and behold, your neighbour-boyfriend sees you in your AVATARish avatar and it’s simply a very pretty fright for him. If you think it’s bad only for girls, then putting myself in a boy’s shoes (EWW, stinky and smelly!!) and thinking...well, it’s equally bad for them. Our boy simply sits down to see a football game and his neighbour just needs to crawl across the door to nag him or to fight with him for not noticing her new eyeliner. Tch tch…love thy neighbour as thyself...NOT!

7) Ankit Fadia

You really want to date a hacker despite him being cute, 25 years only and immensely smart? He’ll scrutinize your girly chats with your friends and even if you gushed at Ranbir Kapoor, our pretty boy will not like it.

8) Angelina Jolie

You’ll find your time spent in adopting an Indian cricket team and less with her. Give me one good reason to date her now!

9) Rakhi Sawant

You really considered her? GET OUT OF SHIT FOR TAT,YOU !!

10) A SFTian

However hot we are, however cool we are, we are just going to play hard to get and pretend we are not overwhelmed by the laurels (and hardys :P) you are gonna dump on us. We are proud to be modest.

Do you dare to date any of us? :P

I am participating in the WeBlog's Sleepy Sunday contest! You may read other participating posts HERE

Happy Birthday to the Ladizz log ka man - Peter ;)

It was some blah-blah years back that an Eminem-isshtyle laughter (hell! it shud be a howl, babies don't laugh when born hawww) broke the silence of a random labor room ;) and the boy-with-the-sexy-smile was born.

His parents named him Ashwin but the world recognized his immense talent and due to some ahem! sort of reasons that cannot be disclosed in public, his friends started calling him - PETER :D :D Rest is, as they say, HISTORY :) ;)

So, herez a big HAPPY BUDDAY wish for our favorite rapper, philosopher, co-shitter, dreamer, believer, singer and MY very-own Hero :)

For people who are just a part of the crowd, birthday wishes are easy to write... but for someone like you, it was a challenge because we really have no clue what exactly should we write that would justify the wonderful person that you are :)

For now, adjust with this small wish from all of us...

So here are some of the chhoti/moti wishes --

- May God bless you with many more moments to smile and so you can make gals go weak in their knees. OMG, stop smiling...I can see one of them falling :|

- Wish you loads of success and happiness.

- I wish that someday this year, you will realise that what a gifted singer and performer you are ...and you'll step out and tell the world about it. I will eagerly wait for that day to come and will be the first one in the row yelling at the top of my voice while you sing :)

- I wish that someday people understand the nice guy you are behind that stupid frown of yours.

- I wish that someday you'll believe that you indeed are someone people can count on and feel safe with.

- I wish that all your dreams come true (ofcourse the ahem! ones too)

- I wish that your year and life is filled with less of WTF days and more of OMG, wow! days ;)

Last but not the least, I lifted this from someone especially for you :

"Few tips on your b'day :

1. Forget the past-u can't change it.

2. Forget the present. I didnt get you one."

LOL... I know that was a lame one..but that's all we could manage right now.

So once again from Mads, Nidhi, Accilet and me, wish you a happy birthday and an awesome year ahead :)

On behalf of the Shitters - Posted by Harshita.

Downside UP !

?thing damn whole the read you, nuts people you aren’t !! Man. Window this close please. Option an is there all at if, blog this abuse report. Time precious your Waste Don’t ,you telling am I Seriously. Work your do go. Blog yeh tumlog ho kyun he padhtey nahi pata, hai gaya ho dahi ka dimag mere k likh ulta.

? Kya aur, denge bol sorry toh laga bura agar, anyway it do will we, guessing am I, mode cynical the to back going again but, it take will readers how as, skeptical little a are we but style our in names blog familiar/famous the of some rape to want We names about talking now. Name the justifies it least at happy am I but, shit is blog this. Left humour in sense no is there and, airtels, vodafones, !deas any have don’t we useless so so we are how see.

!!struck fuck man. struck moon, struck night , struck light, struck exam, struck love, are nowadays SFTians . “:D” or “=))” this as happy as is no one but, interning, studying, dreaming, relaxing, are here People. Themselves of sick are they or do they jobs of the sick either are here bloggers the because. Think we what change would think you what that think don’t we that just it’s. think don’t we that think don’t , Now. Dead is fun the all but, here excitement create to enough thought we.

All for & once for ,Stupidism this finish to want we ,Satisfied not are we, enough is nothing but. Extent some to successful been have and Bloggers repel to try we. Visit your explain then? no? nuts guys you are. Members its & blog this with up is what see and time precious your waste to here come people you then and now every why, why, why ?

P.S :You know what to do. Neeche se uppar tak padho isse !

THE TRING TONES !

It makes you a geek, shows your personality, sets your mood(s), portrays you as a punk, sometimes freaks you, sometimes irritates you, sometimes brings a smile and all the time causes an alert. Overall a massive role player in your life despite of being just a repetitive assembly of musical codes. Yes I am talking about ringtones, singtones and caller tunes.Letz dissect some common types.

THE DADAJI-TONES: Simplest of all, soft, beeps regularly after ever two seconds in such a way that you start believing that it's not ringing anymore, whenever it takes a break of two seconds, but it surprises you every time. There are devotional tones too, like 'Gayatri mantra', 'Sai Ram' or 'arey re meri jaan hai radha' or similar types, you can keep them as your alarm tones, if you want to get up early morning, all charged up. I am sure Bhawana has plenty of them :P

THE GIRLIE-TONES: Yea, baby ! I am talking about baby tones. Girls find it 'Awwwww-some’, 'cutiee', 'kuchoo','puchooo','nonu','sonu' and what not. Baby laughs, or a baby singing this particular rhyme is 'oh-so-famous' ; "you aal my honey bunz, shuuugar plum, pumpie, umpie, umpkin, you aal my shweetie pie". When these celphones ring in a public place, some guys (like me) raise their left eyebrows to the maximum level possible and give 'wtf is wrong with you, jeez! Grow up' kind of look.

THE WHACKO-TONES: It might give you a shiver down the spine if you are a heart patient, or you wet your pants in a roller coaster ride. 'a Devil laugh' (the scary one),a 'whooshh-whoosssh, ghost's voice',' a cracking glass sound', or a 'motorbike accelerating' can freak you out sometimes, if you happen to be in your deepest slumber, and someone calls you up just for that vengeance sake, that you freaked him out during the day time. So never ever keep these stupid ring tones.

THE CATTLE INSTINCT-TONES: A dog barking, a lion roaring, a kitty meowwwing or the birds chirping are some of those tones which you might ignore unintentionally coz you do not realize soon enough that your celphone is actually ringing and your boss is calling you up to spank your butt. So when you see 10 missed calls from your boss you either give all maa bahen gaalis to your mobile or to that bechara dog who even warned you.

THE MONOLOUGE-TONES: "Arey ohh Sambha kitney aadmi the?" kind of ring tones are there too, in case you are bored and you have a memory card of 1GB full with these ring tones you can do time pass with them. Some of the famous raped versions that I have heard and hate are:

1."Daan ka intezar toh 11 mulkon ki Police kar rahi hai, par daan toh sala shana hai, pakad mein he nahi ata, huuuhahahahahaha."

2." Ab tera kya hoga Kaliya? sardar mainey apka namak khaya hai, sale namak-haram, cheap category, tu daaku nahi chor hai."

3."Dekho yeh wahi tum tum ho yeh wahi main main hun, hum dono ek jagah se uthe the, par mere pas aaj bangla hai, gaadi hai, properties hai, bank balance hai,tumhare Pas kya hai?.......Can you repeat the question?"

THE CHEAP-TONES: Laloo Yadav's Preaching or Atal Bihari Vajpayee's silent words cannot be kept as ring tones, IMFAO. Of course someone mimics it and makes it funny but it carries a bad impression if you keep it as your ring tone. However there are certain worst kinds like a cheap comedian from some laughter comedy circus, crack up some shit worse than digesting a mangled animal’s carcass. ahhooo it rhymes !! Yes I am talking about 'Pehchaan Kaun' ringtone, which goes like this:

"Pehchaan kaun? (dhol beats) Shama bhi nahi, (dhol beats), Jannie bhi nahi (dhol beats), Julie bol rahi hun (dhol beats) hatttt (dhol beats), Kutta."

Other than these ring tones, farting sounds (of various kinds), kissing sounds (not Tarkan Simarik one) or 'aahhnn uhnnn and other similar sex sounds' are present.

THE CALLER-TUNES: Vodafone calls up and makes me hear Mr. Sharma ka caller tune which goes like "Main ban ka panchi" and MR. Verma ka caller tune which goes like "Desi gal" and asks me to be either of the '--rmas'. I had one 'april fool' caller tune in which a girl picks up the call and says hello hello, till the time you start believing that either you are lucky or she is dumb or both. Currently I have 'Euro cup Special' caller tune. However I so want to have 'Nayan Tarse'.

MY KIND OF-TONES: Mostly singtones, pop, rap, rock, R&B, soft, hindi, english. Every decent but interesting types are my sms tones and ringtones(yes I keep changing it). Doesn't matter if it's loud or fast, I should like it. Yes from airtel's whistle-sound to titanic's soothing instrumental sound, I like it all. My SMS tone right now is 'Tokyo Drift' and ring tone is 'Bacardi Blast'


P.S I haven't included Regional-tones intentionally, don't think i forgot that category:P

P.P.S : while commenting also write down which kind of Caller tune, SMS tones & Ring tones you have or you like.

It's A Class Act !

I just hope, pray to the Lord above that none of my faculty members are reading this. Or none of the students who read this sneak off and show it to my faculty members.

It's actually alright. Anyway, my grades suck. Sigh.

What BP(my Bench Partner) and I do in class, during the entire 1 hour lecture....



First 5 mins go in attendance and giving each other missed calls, if the other hasn't come to class.
Then starts the boredom...

1) We take pics :D and then keep rotating the pics, changing the background. and of course, crib that we look dark, and our hair looks bad.

2) Discuss what to wear the next day to college.

3) Crib at least once in every lecture that boys suck.

4) Laugh at the people who sleep in a funny manner. If they are really funny, take pics of them too. I love the zoom option for that.

5) Look at what each person is wearing and appreciate/criticize it.

6) Listen to the faculty and maarofy sarcastic remarks.

7) Priceless one: call on each others cells and watch it vibrate.

8) Another priceless one: call on one cell and put our fingers on it and move along with the cell as it vibrates (We are BORED. That's what happens to bored people. Forgive us for living.)

9) Thanks to my guilty conscience, I take notes sometimes. BP goes off to sleep then(Why you taking down notes? *shakes head and goes to sleep and wakes up within seconds since she gets a sms :P *

10) Plan a dinner outing or movie. And mostly, implement the plans :D

11) Get hold of a newspaper and read our horoscopes and discuss about it. Then read the Elite Page 3 and discuss about the latest happenings(You know what? Freida Pinto and Dev Patel were caught kissing???? Followed by a "Hawww!! How do YOU know?" "Arre, read this article" The poor faculty drones on about Articles of Constitution, while we read newspaper articles).
Then, BP asks me to update her on the sports section, which I religiously do :D (What? India won? Against? Oh, Dhoni is cute! Oh Federer lost? (I clear my throat and change the topic quickly)

12) Play games on cells and on paper. Muhuhahaha. Name Place Animal Thing, any one?

13) The best of the lot. BP invented it. It's called Dub Dub Rate. It's simply checking your pulse for a minute. And write it down and compare who's is higher. The highest was, when BP and I got a giggling fit and we started the game, and BP scored 98 and I score 93. And once:
BP: I'm bored, Let's start checking our pulse.
Me: Yeah...(checking) Hey..(searching all over my hand) Hey, I can't find my pulse!
BP: Arre, class can't be that boring that you can't find your pulse.(laughs and starts hunting) Hey...(eyes widening) I can't find it too!!
Me: Eeeeeeks. I'm dead, BP!!!
BP: No...No...(frowning and starts hunting) There!! Found it...Can hardly feel it.... It's nearly gone (in a sincere tone)

14) We usually don't scribble on benches. I mean, just don't wanna do it, I guess. We type a sms and show the cell to the other, in case we sense that someone is overhearing us, or we want to bitch about someone sitting nearby :D

15) Immediately after inventing the Dub Dub Rate game, she invented a Yawn game. Simply count how many times we yawn. She won 15, my score was simply a 5. Insomniac re. Even classes don't put me off to sleep, dammit. We also played checking the pulse rate near the throat, but that was too obvious, and our fellow back benchers and the faculty were giving us WTF looks....

Any additions to this list? Or did we just motivate you into surviving your next class? Drop a comment ;-)
The best addition to this list will get The Title of the Class Actor....