Rated R : The Survey

So, if your neck and eyes are working perfectly fine (after the last post), we Shiters are back again with a treat for your eyes. We are approaching a milestone (which will be discussed after a few days) so we decided to present a small treat to our thousands of beloved fans. No, we are not giving small awards stolen from here and there, in fact we conducted a small secret survey. This survey was done by a team of experts and it was done to rate the blogs based on the content. Now as this survey involves some objectionable content, so we are not discussing the basis too much.

Our team of experts have rated the blogs of our reader's and reader's reader's and reader's reader's reader's (and so on) on a scale of 5. The rating which usually in form of stars is not used here.

So the blogs with their ratings are given below. The readers may suggest more blogs and their suggestions will be rated in the next version of this rating series (provided we get apt sponsors for they next post based on this post):

1. http://harshitawriteslikethis.blogspot.com
   
   For writing for the better half of a man (all kinds)!
   
   
   
   


2. http://amrita1987.blogspot.com
   
   For a non-understandable About Me
   
   
   
   
   
3. http://powerdrunk7.blogspot.com
   
   For never using full names
   
   
   
   



4. http://thesolitarywriter.blogspot.com
   
   For using the tools to err..
   
   
   
   
   
   


5. http://www.chronicwriter.com/
   
   For Super Humor (:-o) abilities
   
   
   
   


6. http://escortinglifetodeath.blogspot.com
   
   Aise hi Kuchh kuchh rating..
   
   
   
   


7. http://y2aslog.blogspot.com
   
   For being not so sarcastic and quitting a job in times of recession






8. http://peter-blogvibes.blogspot.com
   
   For making readers beg for dictionary with those rap(e)-posts






9. http://madhuriaries.blogspot.com
   
   For sharing those Dad Jokes, BP Jokes and the ever popular MJs
   






10. http://drunkthought.blogspot.com
    
    For using own's blog for romantic purposes
    
    




11. http://yehhaitadka.blogspot.com
    
    For being politically correct
    
    




12. http://saying-private-yarn.blogspot.com
    
    For making sure that PJs will rule the Earth forever






13. http://loon-ardor.blogspot.com
    
    For sharing too many varieties of cats for no reason whatsoever
    
    




14. http://chitwanprabhakar.blogspot.com
    
    For writing dil se and not being a sardar from Punjab (and the pictures below, thats what we could grasp from a Junglee Billi's blog for your Billi prem)
    
    
    
    
    
    


15. http://candidreflection.blogspot.com
    
    For being absent from a long long time...
    
    
Tata Tea peeo aur Jaago re!

P.S : Thanks to Akansha and Harshita (alpha-beta-cally) for their contributions and if anyone's blog is hurt after reading this post then do let us know, we will think what (not) can be done. We will take matters into our own hands and will sincerely make some effort. But Please don't expect apologies, that's the only thing we are extremely bad at! Always remember, shit for tat!

Bhatt Abhi/Y2A, It's your Happy-DAY :)

24 years ago from today, A King was born, The Sarcasm King. However the title awarded to him, came years after he made his presence felt, through a blog named 'A-Shit-For-Tat' (don't click on the name in case you are not an idiot).He is not only sarcastic, he is slapstick too, and of course he is raunchy, goofy and quick witted but, CAUTION : he is an Engineer. On this holy occasion, let's give his own dose, i.e Laughter. Here are some of his own-made-punch-liners/fundas/laws. Which you might have just missed some how.

King's FUNDAS

1. [Asterix] that: It's like hiding your main (body) part by using undies. He never uses the four letter word. He uses Pluck/chuck/muck/duck instead of that. Never even abuses in hindi. He would rather write the slang and also mention which category that belongs to, from 'the parts of Speech', as in if the slang is a verb or adjective or Noun. For example 'F[Verb; Asterix]k that', 'B[Adjective; Asterix]d' or Abe 'C[Adjective, Asterix]y'. Our King is more docile than 'Anil Kapoor' from the movie 'Ishwar'. He says 'Teri maa ki' as 'Teri Monkey'

2. Oblique People: That means Gay/Lesbian People. According to him "anything that is not straight is Oblique."

3. Never Judge a book by its movie: It means as simple as it sounds.

4. How to attract a woman towards you: The [Link] is here.

5. 'Obama ki Ma'ccain: Read the first Funda to solve this crux.

King's *HIT LIST

1. Ramalingam Raju: He is not alone for that matter, there are thousands of other people like him, But still he made this[Link] and this [link]

2. Lahman Brothers: Beacuse of Recession Fucktors obviously.


King's FUNNY-ONE-LINERS

1. I Like Kids, I like them so much that I can eat them.

2. Long working hours, erratic schedules and frequent transfers don't always make IT a dream destination for fresh women graduates. But it pays to have the fairer sex on board.

3. Raju Raju? Yes papa! Eating money? No papa! Telling lies? No papa? Open your balance sheets? Ha ha ha.

4. Before I start to write some lines,I check the calendar, aaila! It’s Valentine!

5. Banglore Royal Challengers - jeetenge Hum shaan se - Ab shaan jaise singers agar cricket khelne lage toh koi bachha hi jeet jaaye.

6. Oye hoye hoye
oye hoye hoye
oye hoye hoye
Public gaali deve,SRK samjha leve,Don’t become bloody fool.
Lalitiya hai vyapaari,Chale hai pardes // dhoww dhoww,Franchisee khush toh hove,Fir kaahe bloody fool.

7. I can say that I first watched Vidya Balan in Hum Paanch. She looked older those days as well.

8. I am not going, don't Bush me.

9. I will take light Years to reply, (don't tell me that light years is not a unit of time)

10. Last to last month he wrote, "MAY, aa gaya, MAY aa gaya Ma."

11.My janam kundali suggested that my name should start with ‘Y’ for example: ‘Yudhishthir’, 'Y2A' can also be expanded a“Yours Troooly Abhinav”
.
.
.
.

The memory space of blogspot would be full, Bhatt his one - liners won't cease to make you laugh (I don't know if I make sense).
Happy birthday Abhinav a.k.a Y2A may you live you forever and remain Joxy (that has nothing to do with Jockey, btw).

Lets start the day with you Y2A, just Pop-up a bottle of champagne and be gay,
May you remain forever joxy, may you get a girl bery bery sexy.
You are the King Bhatt,Bhatt I see you are still a wanted,
The funny Jackpot you are, Your blog is phun granted.
Many many Happy returns of the day, just kick all the sorrows away :)

P.S : Though He is just more than being a funny guy, but can you beat his sense of humor by wishing him in a funny style ?

THE TRING TONES !

It makes you a geek, shows your personality, sets your mood(s), portrays you as a punk, sometimes freaks you, sometimes irritates you, sometimes brings a smile and all the time causes an alert. Overall a massive role player in your life despite of being just a repetitive assembly of musical codes. Yes I am talking about ringtones, singtones and caller tunes.Letz dissect some common types.

THE DADAJI-TONES: Simplest of all, soft, beeps regularly after ever two seconds in such a way that you start believing that it's not ringing anymore, whenever it takes a break of two seconds, but it surprises you every time. There are devotional tones too, like 'Gayatri mantra', 'Sai Ram' or 'arey re meri jaan hai radha' or similar types, you can keep them as your alarm tones, if you want to get up early morning, all charged up. I am sure Bhawana has plenty of them :P

THE GIRLIE-TONES: Yea, baby ! I am talking about baby tones. Girls find it 'Awwwww-some’, 'cutiee', 'kuchoo','puchooo','nonu','sonu' and what not. Baby laughs, or a baby singing this particular rhyme is 'oh-so-famous' ; "you aal my honey bunz, shuuugar plum, pumpie, umpie, umpkin, you aal my shweetie pie". When these celphones ring in a public place, some guys (like me) raise their left eyebrows to the maximum level possible and give 'wtf is wrong with you, jeez! Grow up' kind of look.

THE WHACKO-TONES: It might give you a shiver down the spine if you are a heart patient, or you wet your pants in a roller coaster ride. 'a Devil laugh' (the scary one),a 'whooshh-whoosssh, ghost's voice',' a cracking glass sound', or a 'motorbike accelerating' can freak you out sometimes, if you happen to be in your deepest slumber, and someone calls you up just for that vengeance sake, that you freaked him out during the day time. So never ever keep these stupid ring tones.

THE CATTLE INSTINCT-TONES: A dog barking, a lion roaring, a kitty meowwwing or the birds chirping are some of those tones which you might ignore unintentionally coz you do not realize soon enough that your celphone is actually ringing and your boss is calling you up to spank your butt. So when you see 10 missed calls from your boss you either give all maa bahen gaalis to your mobile or to that bechara dog who even warned you.

THE MONOLOUGE-TONES: "Arey ohh Sambha kitney aadmi the?" kind of ring tones are there too, in case you are bored and you have a memory card of 1GB full with these ring tones you can do time pass with them. Some of the famous raped versions that I have heard and hate are:

1."Daan ka intezar toh 11 mulkon ki Police kar rahi hai, par daan toh sala shana hai, pakad mein he nahi ata, huuuhahahahahaha."

2." Ab tera kya hoga Kaliya? sardar mainey apka namak khaya hai, sale namak-haram, cheap category, tu daaku nahi chor hai."

3."Dekho yeh wahi tum tum ho yeh wahi main main hun, hum dono ek jagah se uthe the, par mere pas aaj bangla hai, gaadi hai, properties hai, bank balance hai,tumhare Pas kya hai?.......Can you repeat the question?"

THE CHEAP-TONES: Laloo Yadav's Preaching or Atal Bihari Vajpayee's silent words cannot be kept as ring tones, IMFAO. Of course someone mimics it and makes it funny but it carries a bad impression if you keep it as your ring tone. However there are certain worst kinds like a cheap comedian from some laughter comedy circus, crack up some shit worse than digesting a mangled animal’s carcass. ahhooo it rhymes !! Yes I am talking about 'Pehchaan Kaun' ringtone, which goes like this:

"Pehchaan kaun? (dhol beats) Shama bhi nahi, (dhol beats), Jannie bhi nahi (dhol beats), Julie bol rahi hun (dhol beats) hatttt (dhol beats), Kutta."

Other than these ring tones, farting sounds (of various kinds), kissing sounds (not Tarkan Simarik one) or 'aahhnn uhnnn and other similar sex sounds' are present.

THE CALLER-TUNES: Vodafone calls up and makes me hear Mr. Sharma ka caller tune which goes like "Main ban ka panchi" and MR. Verma ka caller tune which goes like "Desi gal" and asks me to be either of the '--rmas'. I had one 'april fool' caller tune in which a girl picks up the call and says hello hello, till the time you start believing that either you are lucky or she is dumb or both. Currently I have 'Euro cup Special' caller tune. However I so want to have 'Nayan Tarse'.

MY KIND OF-TONES: Mostly singtones, pop, rap, rock, R&B, soft, hindi, english. Every decent but interesting types are my sms tones and ringtones(yes I keep changing it). Doesn't matter if it's loud or fast, I should like it. Yes from airtel's whistle-sound to titanic's soothing instrumental sound, I like it all. My SMS tone right now is 'Tokyo Drift' and ring tone is 'Bacardi Blast'


P.S I haven't included Regional-tones intentionally, don't think i forgot that category:P

P.P.S : while commenting also write down which kind of Caller tune, SMS tones & Ring tones you have or you like.