Thursday, June 18, 2009

THE TRING TONES !

Thursday, June 18, 2009
It makes you a geek, shows your personality, sets your mood(s), portrays you as a punk, sometimes freaks you, sometimes irritates you, sometimes brings a smile and all the time causes an alert. Overall a massive role player in your life despite of being just a repetitive assembly of musical codes. Yes I am talking about ringtones, singtones and caller tunes.Letz dissect some common types.

THE DADAJI-TONES: Simplest of all, soft, beeps regularly after ever two seconds in such a way that you start believing that it's not ringing anymore, whenever it takes a break of two seconds, but it surprises you every time. There are devotional tones too, like 'Gayatri mantra', 'Sai Ram' or 'arey re meri jaan hai radha' or similar types, you can keep them as your alarm tones, if you want to get up early morning, all charged up. I am sure Bhawana has plenty of them :P

THE GIRLIE-TONES: Yea, baby ! I am talking about baby tones. Girls find it 'Awwwww-some’, 'cutiee', 'kuchoo','puchooo','nonu','sonu' and what not. Baby laughs, or a baby singing this particular rhyme is 'oh-so-famous' ; "you aal my honey bunz, shuuugar plum, pumpie, umpie, umpkin, you aal my shweetie pie". When these celphones ring in a public place, some guys (like me) raise their left eyebrows to the maximum level possible and give 'wtf is wrong with you, jeez! Grow up' kind of look.



THE WHACKO-TONES: It might give you a shiver down the spine if you are a heart patient, or you wet your pants in a roller coaster ride. 'a Devil laugh' (the scary one),a 'whooshh-whoosssh, ghost's voice',' a cracking glass sound', or a 'motorbike accelerating' can freak you out sometimes, if you happen to be in your deepest slumber, and someone calls you up just for that vengeance sake, that you freaked him out during the day time. So never ever keep these stupid ring tones.

THE CATTLE INSTINCT-TONES: A dog barking, a lion roaring, a kitty meowwwing or the birds chirping are some of those tones which you might ignore unintentionally coz you do not realize soon enough that your celphone is actually ringing and your boss is calling you up to spank your butt. So when you see 10 missed calls from your boss you either give all maa bahen gaalis to your mobile or to that bechara dog who even warned you.

THE MONOLOUGE-TONES: "Arey ohh Sambha kitney aadmi the?" kind of ring tones are there too, in case you are bored and you have a memory card of 1GB full with these ring tones you can do time pass with them. Some of the famous raped versions that I have heard and hate are:

1."Daan ka intezar toh 11 mulkon ki Police kar rahi hai, par daan toh sala shana hai, pakad mein he nahi ata, huuuhahahahahaha."

2." Ab tera kya hoga Kaliya? sardar mainey apka namak khaya hai, sale namak-haram, cheap category, tu daaku nahi chor hai."

3."Dekho yeh wahi tum tum ho yeh wahi main main hun, hum dono ek jagah se uthe the, par mere pas aaj bangla hai, gaadi hai, properties hai, bank balance hai,tumhare Pas kya hai?.......Can you repeat the question?"

THE CHEAP-TONES: Laloo Yadav's Preaching or Atal Bihari Vajpayee's silent words cannot be kept as ring tones, IMFAO. Of course someone mimics it and makes it funny but it carries a bad impression if you keep it as your ring tone. However there are certain worst kinds like a cheap comedian from some laughter comedy circus, crack up some shit worse than digesting a mangled animal’s carcass. ahhooo it rhymes !! Yes I am talking about 'Pehchaan Kaun' ringtone, which goes like this:


"Pehchaan kaun? (dhol beats) Shama bhi nahi, (dhol beats), Jannie bhi nahi (dhol beats), Julie bol rahi hun (dhol beats) hatttt (dhol beats), Kutta."

Other than these ring tones, farting sounds (of various kinds), kissing sounds (not Tarkan Simarik one) or 'aahhnn uhnnn and other similar sex sounds' are present.

THE CALLER-TUNES: Vodafone calls up and makes me hear Mr. Sharma ka caller tune which goes like "Main ban ka panchi" and MR. Verma ka caller tune which goes like "Desi gal" and asks me to be either of the '--rmas'. I had one 'april fool' caller tune in which a girl picks up the call and says hello hello, till the time you start believing that either you are lucky or she is dumb or both. Currently I have 'Euro cup Special' caller tune. However I so want to have 'Nayan Tarse'.

MY KIND OF-TONES: Mostly singtones, pop, rap, rock, R&B, soft, hindi, english. Every decent but interesting types are my sms tones and ringtones(yes I keep changing it). Doesn't matter if it's loud or fast, I should like it. Yes from airtel's whistle-sound to titanic's soothing instrumental sound, I like it all. My SMS tone right now is 'Tokyo Drift' and ring tone is 'Bacardi Blast'


P.S I haven't included Regional-tones intentionally, don't think i forgot that category:P

P.P.S : while commenting also write down which kind of Caller tune, SMS tones & Ring tones you have or you like.