Sunday, July 25, 2010

Wait, is that your Date?!

Sunday, July 25, 2010
Only one among us SFTians is committed, and the rest of us are committed to being single (All you new readers, read our individual blogs to find out who’s the one who’s committed among us! Free publicity khekhekhe)

We singletons are a curious case of sour grapes. Hence, we have nothing better in life to do except to make fun of the existing couples and discourage the prospective couples ;)

If you are in the former category and if you are in the later category or if you are single and looking like us, here’s SFT bringing you the top 10 people you shouldn’t DARE TO DATE!

1) The Boss

One wrong move, and you lose your job and you blew your other job! ;)
Professionally and personally both, the boss is always right. Even if he’s hot, don’t you dare look at him for more than 30 seconds. The hot bosses are only for fantasizing purpose. No dating purpose.

2) The teacher’s daughter/son

You really don’t want to pick up your date from your teacher’s place, specially if you date on weekdays. Specially if the date didn’t go out well, (since you were busy on the phone fighting after the date, you conveniently forgot to do your homework) you could very well be told off in class, made to stand in the corner of the class, and also be given a memo to be signed by your parents. Grades could be at stake too, so a big thumbs down, however hot the stakes might be!

3) The Friend’s EX

How desperate can you get? When your friend axes, you grab at the ex! This is a total no-no.

4) The Business Partner’s daughter/ Family Friend

Firstly, not many Indian parents will be over the moon to find out that your inner motive of going to ‘Uncle’s place’ was not to look at his collection of novels, but was to hook up with one of his collection of pretty young things. And if things go wrong, your dad’s business be dammed and you my friend, should forget about grabbing any inheritance share in your dad’s property.

5) The Indian cricketer

Ok, so Dhoni saw Sakshi at this hotel and it was love at first sight for him, and he tried and tried for her and at last she surrendered. But girls, that was Dhoni. You have no options left now. Who do you want for a companion? Yuvraj Singh? Harbhajan Singh? Irfan Pathan was good, until we heard rumours of him and VJ Anusha. He’s seriously not keeping it stylish anymore, is he? There’s Virat Kohli, but his life is on the fast-track lately :P

6) Your next door neighbour

It’s as bad as having a live in relationship with no one to sleep with. You open the door, in shorts, uncombed hair, unwaxed legs and behold, your neighbour-boyfriend sees you in your AVATARish avatar and it’s simply a very pretty fright for him. If you think it’s bad only for girls, then putting myself in a boy’s shoes (EWW, stinky and smelly!!) and thinking...well, it’s equally bad for them. Our boy simply sits down to see a football game and his neighbour just needs to crawl across the door to nag him or to fight with him for not noticing her new eyeliner. Tch tch…love thy neighbour as thyself...NOT!

7) Ankit Fadia

You really want to date a hacker despite him being cute, 25 years only and immensely smart? He’ll scrutinize your girly chats with your friends and even if you gushed at Ranbir Kapoor, our pretty boy will not like it.

8) Angelina Jolie

You’ll find your time spent in adopting an Indian cricket team and less with her. Give me one good reason to date her now!

9) Rakhi Sawant

You really considered her? GET OUT OF SHIT FOR TAT,YOU !!

10) A SFTian

However hot we are, however cool we are, we are just going to play hard to get and pretend we are not overwhelmed by the laurels (and hardys :P) you are gonna dump on us. We are proud to be modest.

Do you dare to date any of us? :P

I am participating in the WeBlog's Sleepy Sunday contest! You may read other participating posts HERE

Sunday, July 18, 2010

DisLike or Like Dis ?

Sunday, July 18, 2010

You can quit reading this post now, if you belong to any of these categories;

1. You are a Facebook illiterate or you don’t have a Facebook account.

2. You are dumb and you don’t get

SFT jokes (which btw obviously makes you dumb)

3. You still use Hi5/orkut.

And by chance if you belong to the third category, you should jump from the nearest balcony and die, because you are just about 6-7 years behind where the world is right now. So by the time you start using facebook, we will have our children getting married and reproducing online, now don’t ask me how is that possible? Because anything is possible, I mean Mads recently found out that Suniel Shetty is the brand ambassador of some xyz brand of shades, now beat that!

Now, coming back to this post,SFT thinks that there are zillions of Fan pages and groups on FB which people join/like and forget. So what is the use of joining them in the first place itself? You want to spam your wall? No! I just join them and block the feed. So again, why do you join them? Err no idea…I just like to! Wow that’s like the coolest logic ever!

If we break it down in to the types we will have these:

The Essentials: Schools/colleges/universities, TV shows, favourite stars, personalities, books, writers, etc. Which you join because you belong to them or like them and you can probably get the latest information from them, find your old buddies. It’s all useful and one of the basics of any social networking site. So if you only join these groups and pages, you just had a light escape ;)

The Not-So-Essentials: The perfect example would be ‘tera hone laga hoon’ group. Okay you saw the movie, you liked the song, and you drooled over Mr. Kapoor/Miss Kaif, now what? You will go to that community and tell the fans how much you liked this song? Those guys probably know it already, they are JUST like you.

The Non-Essentials: This whole post is to emphasize on this particular category, SFT has been observing this bakwas phenomenon since long, although one of its co-founders might just get MAD and kill the author of this post. Anyway putting my life at risk, I just want to give ‘thumbs down’, for these type of groups/pages:-

“After putting the toothpaste on the brush, I put water on it”- OMG you put water? I put Harpic, maybe that’s why my teeth shine more.

“Sometimes when I walk, I put my feet on those square shaped tiles”- Great, so did you add that in your resume?

“The teacher asking you a question and your friend next to you whispering the answer”- So learn from him/her instead of making a FB page about it.

“Thank you Pakistan, for taking Sania Mriza, now take Rakhi Sawant also”, yeah and take this jobless person also who made this Fan page and all those who joined it.

“I want to talk to you, but I feel I am annoying you”- Oh, well then maybe you are.

“The guy who discovered milk, what the hell was he trying to do with the cow”- How the hell did you think of that? You are no less pervert either.

“Hi, I am a boy, I will say I love you but when you fall for it I will walk away”- Ok, all the drama aside, you are a girl who made/joined this community, right? Then why are you lying?

"I say "OUCH" before I'm even sure it hurt... just in case"- I will say OUCH on your behalf after you are dead in my hands, just for this!

I can really go on and on and on about such pages, but there is hardly any point. People like them and they join them and then forget about them. It’s not awesome to join all the communities you like for like 10 seconds. Else why do you think Mr. FB has a limit for joining pages and groups too (How did I know? Yes, from the same source you found out from!)