IPL RAP(E) !!

It's IPL time,
And we shit-ers, Peminem, Y2A Sean and Mads Cents present before you a rap(e) for which we won't charge a dime!



Yo, I pee in your Land,
I field in your Sand,
I didn't want it at the end of the day to be it at SA,
Its not about SA or India,waise
All everyone wanted was thode, bahut paise!

I'm an Indian, I don't want a blow,
I had enough of election's peep show,
Enough to make Modi lose control,

I ain't a jackass politician, nor a leader,
I'm just a normal guy drooling over a hot cheerleader,

I dun own the knights,
I dun fear from fights,
Da Basanti's dance with me, they dance for me,
I take in the sight, with lots of glee,

Even the umpires have a hit on them,
Each time, they score, wham bam, thank you Ma'm,
They start dancing on every hit,
Dance like they got, them fits,

The Knights don't last into the night,
They cannot give in any match a fight,
A Fake IPL Player, a fake male called SRgay,
A Skipper who can't just play,
A coach who teaches his laptop to bowl n bat,
They get laid, at the bottom, flat.

The Mumbai Indians aala re,
Oh oh, par Sachin gaya re,
They fall down,immediately,crumble,
Bowl wides, expecting the opposition to tumble,
The young all-rounders, Bravo and Nayar,
Have their asses always on fire.

Shilpa Shetty's hit movies is equal to,
Da number of wins for her boys,which are few,
Last year's top dogs, they were,
Now, they can only manage to purr,
Warne's new bowler's action is under threat
Wonder if plan 2354235 of Warne is all set,

The Royal Challengers,are back,
They got Uthappa in exchange of Zak,
Despite Dravid and Kevin going home early,
And they are winning finally,
It's a surprise Virat takes any catches,
When we see him looking, all da time, at himself in his
glasses.

The Singh who's King of all chicks,
Lost a match recently, despite his hattrick,
Preity who still plays hug hug with all the mates,
And Ness got it, from his ex date,
Sreesanth's injured, but pappu still dances,for free,
At a party,he nearly played slap gate,with KP,

The Dhakkan Chargers sweeping the floor last time,
Have made losing seem, a huge crime,
Uncle Gilly, who's making captaincy seem silly,
Kicking out Laxman didn't help their fielding,mate,
Symonds out of the team, is it good or great?

The Daredevils dare to keep out Pigeon from the team,
And still, their win is not just a dream,
Gauti and Fatty are the dream opening pair,
And they always get out simultaneously with a pair,
Dick Nannes, fucks all his name-alikes,
Nehra, who's bowling is enough, to psych.

Chennai Super Kings have Hayden at the start,
And in the middle, hiccups and a lot of farts,
His Padmashri award, Dhoni's busy cleaning,
An early return home, his team's planning,
The balls go above Parthiv Patel,
Wonder if Gony wants a career in selling Bhel?

The leaders, the teams who got there just to win,
Have to fight with their own kin,
Pathan v. Pathan,or Hussey v. Hussey,
Fuck every pussy, without making any fussy,
Cannot afford to pee in their pant,
Or listen to the media's rant.
May the best team win it all,
The money's for them, to have a ball.

PROB-LAMES

Look around and you will find tension over people's head instead of those natural black/white/blond/Grey things made from dead cells. People have to ponder and take tension of every matter around and invite their PIA and DURA matters along in the brain pissing exercise.

Half of the world is busy fucking and the rest half is fucking busy.

But being a SFTian we have to ensure that we take it with a pinch of salt and a punch of chilled and hot chops. We are turning the wagon wheel and lets see what all silly and frustrating events come up. I am sure some are just lame and some are just not the same.

JOBS/RECESSION

Some people desperately want a BLOW, Some Desperately want a JOB and Some Despos just want both these things together.

Engineers (specially computer and IT) have a void at the end of each program they plan for and other engineers just have 0 error but countless warnings in their future plans. Someone told me that the best investment for now is to invest in higher studies. I say but what If i am done with my studying, do I go for a triple PhD ?

Anyways if you are an engg like me and don't have a job, then one suggestion for now, READING 'a-S-F-T' WILL NOT HELP :|


PALAK-6.0 -ROADIES DOWN UNDER !!

She has changed the meaning of 'USP' for any TV show.Made Roadies equivalent to hell, Now i am sure once roadies gets over and Rakhi Sawant is married, she is gonna replace her in all the crying ceremonies.

Check out the beauty of this sentence and better appreciate my lame creativity.

" How the Roadies can, a girl give Maa, bahen, beti galis 24x7 on a National TV".

I told u 'roadies' is now equivalent to 'hell'..duh !

She has this manly voice which I have heard in my horrifying dreams so many times, and when she gets happy i get depressed, When she laughs I cry, when she cries I laugh.

She has become the antonym of Joy for me . I have controlled myself from not breaking TV every nano-second of what i have seen her,and the reason is that i watch it in my hostel ka TV so can't really break it, I do My breathing exercise, Count till 10, take chill pills whenever I see her. I hate all the PALAKs in the world becoz of that 'BEEP'.


ORKUT sCRAP

One morning I got up and saw some 1300 scraps missing, then i asked some people, they had lost 2000 scraps. some lost 3000 scraps, and some people became a complete 'SCRAP-VIRGIN' once again.

Then like a true 007 Fanatic, i investigated every single tiny finger profile possible, and came to know from scrutinizing Orkut's blog that, It has now removed all the scraps sent by the people who are no longer in your list or have, deleted their account and all the link wale scraps are now considered as SPAM. so UNSPAM them and get those few scraps muft muft muft :D


FACING-BOOK PROBLEMS

Okay it's complex and not user friendly at all and as Abhinav says: "orkut k jaisi meeti ki kushboo nahi aati hai ismein se, orkut is Desi" I would have agreed with him even if he had said Orkut is Bangla-desi.

I don't understand FB shuru kahan se hota hai aur khatam kahan hota hai. Some People are voracious FBookers and some are just QUIZohlolics. Well I have thought of creating a quiz called

"WHICH SLANG SUITS YOU THE MOST"

woh bhi hindi mein, so if u are really an MC in BC's disguise the world will come to know soon ;)


INDIAN PROBLEMATIC LEAGUE

We are a county having a population of more than a billion people, but we don't have enough security forces to carry out two major events simultaneously. So we organize it in some other country and it's like, a Mother giving her whole uterus to some other person, just coz she is not immune enough :|


SIMPLY PROBLEMS

These are all about small-small individual problems like, you flunked your boards or you have aids/cancer/hepatitis-B. You met an alien and no one believes you. You lost someone special. You are in an important meeting and you have to pee, or you just broke you nose and now you look like a parrot with tapes on.

Actually these are the problems, no one bothers about coz they don't qualify for the LAME category ;)



P.S : MADS promised in her last post, that the best English-rapist walks away with an award. So people tried their luck and there was a tough competition between PINK ORCHID & SHAUNAK according to MADS, so she decided to give the award to both these rapists.

Guys here is your prize
(aho it rhymes!!)