This title isn't good, change it !

This blog's background isn't very good, something more classic would look better ! And the name Shit-for-tat ! Really ? It's not only gross but also offending, it imbibes and showers all the negativity. Do something about it too. Also the themes aren't very funny and updated. Why don't you guys write about Digvijay singh, Baba Ramdev, Lady Gaga and other 'in the news' celebs ? There are loads of jokes on the web about them !

Counselors, advisers, guides, instructors, whatever you name them, are everywhere and mostly unwanted. You don't believe this ? Ask the person next to you, what he thinks about this blog or about you or even about the size of your PEaNUtS (what did you read it first as?).

There are three types of them,

1. Genuine ones

2. Not serious ones

3. Assholes

Got a career problem ? serious life decisions are on hold ? Go to your parents or true well-wishers, which doesn't include your gf btw, coz all she would suggest you is to marry her. So your family and only a few, which means 1, 2 or at max 3 of your best buddies would listen to you and if you are someone with more than 5 best friends, then I am LMAOing at you right now.The rest 2 of them don't exist in this Kalyug. Okay, so these genuine people would help you in putting your best foot forward or at least that's what is expected of them. They all fall in the first category.

Can't sleep ? take a pill ! It burns when you pee ?Well Drink more beer ! Don't feel hungry these days ? Ohh, check if you are pregnant or not :O Got split ends ? Chop your hair off. Running low on cash ? Shoplifting, that's the new 'thing' ! Feeling suicidal ? You could do much better with Ecstasy or Valium ! Bored of sex ? Change your sex or your sex-partner, turn gay or shemale ! Want thrill ? Slap a cop and spit on his face ! Don't like animals ? Well screw 'em, try humping a monkey ! Wanna get high ? Climb Everest ! Wanna experiment ? Put 10 Mentos fresh in a coke bottle and drink it ! wanna feel the heat ? Hug a pressure cooker while its on fire! Wanna get wild ? bite a snake! Got crush on your teacher ? Just propose her ! Got sibling rivalry ? Mix Jamal-Gota in their dinner a day before their board exams! Got a body scar? get the initials of your GF/BF as a tattoo. Wanna be a punk ? Get done with nipple piercing first ! A Snake bit your friend on his penis? Well, suck it ! Your boss is cranky ? Kidnap his daughter or rape his wife! Got Raped ? Chill, it's not like you'r pregnant! You are pregnant? well marry that Rajpal Yadav who proposed you in Engg days. You don't want to marry right now? Steal your bapuji ka paisa and run away from home. Failed in the exams ? get a duplicate report card. Got caught while stealing ? cry like you have a widowed mother and a blind sister!

Gahh! all these suggestions are unwanted and so obvious that they are, it's just your friend having fun at your misery.They are not serious ones. These ideas don't help coz you never take them seriously and if you are someone who has taken them seriously then, I so want to click your picture, hang it on my wall and laugh at it everyday !

When your baajuwala Uncle comes with a meethai ka dabba, just because his 'chotu' scored 95% in board exams and you scored 75 or 80 percent becoz you couldn't mug up like a parrot day and night, all he wants to show you and your family that he has a brighter kid. He'll suggest you to aim for B or C grade colleges in any field, but don't listen to him, he himself did not study at Harvard neither will his 'tota beta'.

Your Bf is a loser !

Hmm, you are right ! can you drop me home, it's getting late? Yeah I would, but it's getting late for me too.

Okay, you have 200 bucks? I don't carry cash much, I will get a taxi and go home safe.

Gee ! I have 5 bucks, catch a bus !

ohh ! and you think my Bf is a loser ? Ass !

You aren't made for this profession even if it's your hobbie, you aren't good at it, just change it !!

Hmm, So what should I do ?

I don't know, you are good with pipes, become a Plumer !

It's PlumBer ! and you thought I should be changing my job. Sicko!

All these Really unwanted Counselors have a stinking mouth, just coz it doesn't cost them a penny, the day it starts costing them, they will keep their ass shut !!

You suggestions on this post ? Think Think ! You don't wanna be an asshole !

Hey Ya, I wanna just break up with you, my love!

Girls, as promised, we are here to bring you some awesome break up lines to help you get rid of him :P

Begin your sentence with 'Actually'. Why you ask? Break up conversations also need some style and adaa while you say it!

1) Actually, I'm not straight :P
In most circumstances, your bf can surely read this as a lie. But oh well, sometimes it works.

2) Actually, You are too good for me.
The pitiable damsel in distress or poor little rich girl act mostly does the trick. Oh, I'm not your types. You are too nice and decent. You don't deserve me. Shy is coming.

3) Actually, I think we need a break.
The best and most effective way to start a conversation which ends your relationship.

4) Actually, I never thought of you in that way. You are like a brother to me.
This one is like a stab in the back for your bf. Try not to use this one. It really hurts. I mean boyfriend to brother. Errr.. Spare me the horror!

5) Actually, I like somebody else. A boy, btw.
Ouch. Our girl is bold and beautifully frank. She lashes out at our poor victim and dumps him in the bin. Even a Splitsvilla contestant couldn't have done a better job.

6) Actually, I'm bored.
She sure wants to have all the fun. This juggling boys girl can directly attack and judging by the type of guys, she would choose...I don't think they would even mind.

7) Actually, my parents don't approve of you/ We are from different castes.
And I bet you never thought about that when you started dating him? LAME !!

8) Actually, I'm becoming a nun.
If your bf is really miserable or if your bf is really stupid, then go for this one !

9) No actually on this one- Scream at the top of your voice- YOU ARE ALWAYS WITH ABHISHEK (All guys have a best friend called 'Abhishek'. Period) You don't pay attention to me anymore. It's always football match with Abhi abhi ke abhi, or cricket with him. GO TO HELL !!

Guys hate their best buddies getting insulted. They'll show themselves out of your house rather than losing their dear Abhisheks.

10) Actually, we need to talk.
Need a girl say anything more to scare off a guy permanently? Guys HATE discussions and even if you didn't intend breaking up with him, he'll assume the same and BANG- you are single, watch out world !!

We welcome contributions ;)

How to tell if a guy is cheating

Tiger Woods isn't the only man to stray away when he already has a fabulous woman by his side. Did it plant some seeds of doubt in your head about your man? Now, you needn't go all the way to Bindaas channel's Emotional Atyachaar(sucks, no!!) to run your man through a loyalty test. Here are the surprising yet useful tips to find out if your dude is being unfaithful to you.

• He smells different. “When he comes home, if he doesn’t smell the same as he did in the morning, and it isn’t the scent of soap in the gym or at your home, it may be because he’s showered at her place,”

• He’s superprotective of his gadgets. “The main way that trysts are found out is through the discovery of incriminating e-mails, IM chats, cell phone texts or bills So if he’s being unfaithful, he may guard his gadgets or act really defensive when you innocently touch his phone or computer. It should be a giant red flag if he readily gave you passwords in the past, and now he’s more evasive.

• He sings “Tera Hone Laga Hoon”- Oh yeah - your guy never sang a good romantic song for you, you never heard him whistling and all of a sudden you hear him singing “Tera Hone Laga Hoon, Khone Laga Hoon”. You see him drunk in thoughts (heehee why can't I publicize my own blog, huh?), spending more time in terrace talking on phone for long time- especially late night calls, admiring nature (moon for example)

• He is more Tip-Tap now – Generally when you start going around, you see your guy is more groomed, neat hair cut and all. But when the fish is in the net, he comes to his real self, Arjun Rampal hairstyle, Long beard like Baba Ram Dev. So when u see your BF is spending home time in front of mirror, means Daal main jarur kuch kala hai.. ya fir Puri daal hi kali hai :P

• He steps 'down' the grooming--Literally-- “This is so obvious, but it’s a sign many women miss: If your man starts grooming down there without you requesting it, that could be an indication that he’s spending more time naked.” So if he has another chick to impress with his sexual prowess, he may emulate those ultra-trimmed guys.

• Crumpled and wrinkled-- Whenever he comes to meet you outside or at your home, his clothes are crumpled, hair is messy, and he looks distracted and fidgety. Then you can be sure that he can't be trusted.

If you are nodding at these points and muttering abuses for your man, make sure you confront him right there right now. Men cannot take confrontations and discussions and sooner or later, they'll confess it all or call you a loser who keeps suspecting him. If he turns the tables on you, you will know that this relationship was never going to work.

To make things easier for you, we shitters are going to bring to you, in our next post, some break-up lines. Ready and easy to use, just for you!