Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Aaj hum chaar se paanch ho gayein hai!!!!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Ah ! So finally after full 24 hours of anxiety, nervousness, waiting, and nail biting the four most talented people on Blog sphere have let me in their place - the toilet.
I feel like a part of the family now.

We will make sure that our toilet is the cleanest around.
A place where thoughts come and move you to action, A place where letting go is the only option and the only place where reading is fun!
I would also request my fellow owners of the Shauchalaya to extend the reaches of this place a little more and get a new tub and shower as well.

Now Seriously many many thanks to the most adorable Peter for introducing me to the super cute Madhuri Iyer and thanks to both of them for making me meet the beautiful Nidhi Mangal .
And Last but not the least I would like to congratulate myself for discovering the genius of Abhinav Bhatt.

Our place is very special to us, Simply because its one place you can't 'do' without :-P
Imagine! You really really have to do your business, you rush and rush to the toilet and Woah!! You find that the door is Open . This is happiness
and then, aah! You finally let go. This is peace.

Nature's calling where are you ?

P.S. bring your Harpicks along.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Someblog's Questionnaire

Monday, January 26, 2009
To all fellow Indians and for those who love Indians, A very happy Republic Day. Yippeee! Constitution ki Jai Ho! Sing with me..

Happy Birthday to you..
Happy Birthday to you..
Happy Birthday to dear Constitution of India..
Happy Birthday to you..

Welcome everyone. Hope you are fine and online. Don’t read this post in an Offline mode. It’s not safe. (Worried reader: HOW?? :-SS ) As we all follow a common trait that we blog and comment on each other’s blog and as a result we now have reasonable knowledge about our fellow bloggers. If we don’t, this is an ultimate opportunity to know you favorite bloggers better.

Disclaimer: Some of the questions are from pretty private parts (of the blogger’s personality only don’t worry) so may look offending but obviously this is Shit4Tat. So nobody should file an FIR because of this post. They should take it in a funny manner as jokes from their friends only. If anybody is hurt, please tell the blog moderators, their name would be removed happily when they will send 1000$ in cash. Thanks!

So are we read, here’s your ultimate chance to know our mutual blogger’s better? Thos who will answer most questions correctly, ahem ahem.. hum.. hmmmmm..

1. What is Peter’s real name?

a. Ashwin Kumar
b. Aishwarya (he was shy of feminine name so he changed it to Peter.)
c. Ashwani
d. Piglet

2. Harshita once fell because of something. Because of what and fell on what?

a. She is so much addicted to Share Market. Sensex dipped and so did Harshita so she fell on her Demat account’s passbook(If any).
b. She owns 2 dogs. Namely Happy and Rustam. One of them peed and she slipped on that.
c. She owns a dog named SRK and he bit her when she told him that Aamir has a dog named SRK as well.
d. She got so much drunk on New Year’s eve that she fell on the dancing floor.


3. Who can be Trinaa’s probable sautan?

a. Peter (:O, we didn’t know that?)
b. Madhuri.. hmm looks Justified….
c. Deepika..
d. None of the above because if anyone from above will be, then she can beat them with her chappals collection. (Bonus Question: Why does she love Chappals?)

4. Urv once cried so much that he learnt many lessons out of it. Why did he cry?

a. His girlfriend had more interest in girls than him.
b. The F.R.I.E.N.D.S. DVD he bought, yeah ‘bought’... hehe silly... was empty.
c. He is a big fan of Red Chillies Entertainment so he brushed his eyes with similar sounding stuff because of a Cricket Match.
d. Someone misspelled his name.


5. What is CRYSTAL’s real age?

a. 33 (uskeee twacha se uskeee umr ka pata hi nahi chalta)
b. 23
c. 13
d. Under observation hai... tell u soon..

6. What is Nidhi’s nickname?

a. Chutki
b. Niggles
c. Amoeba
d. Kaanchi (wrt to all Nepalis)

7. Abhinav kiske khooon ka pyasa hai? *Gurrr.. attached with Ferocious Aamir’s Ghajini looks!*

a. Raju Ramalinga
b. Raju Ramalinga
c. Raju Ramalinga
d. Raju Ramalinga

8. Madhuri Iyer is madly in love with whom?

a. Rahul Gandhi
b. Rahul Mahajan
c. Rahul Chadda (Who is this?)
d. Jammy


9. Who is Mayuri's Favourite hero?

a. Nana Patekar (ooh.. so Hot che!)
b. Amol Palekar (Which one.. Ram Prasad or Laxman Prasad)
c. Rakesh Roshan (hairy choice)
d. Hrithik Roshan (Our Good’ol Duggu)

10. Bhawana is what among these?

a. Spiritual
b. Conceptual
c. All of the above
d. None of the above

11. HP's full name is what among these?

a. Harry Potter
b. Hary Puttar
c. Hindustan Petrolem
d. Heer


12. “Shit4Tat” blog is best?

a. Yes
b. Of course
c. Yeah, I love it
d. ‘One’ of these.

All the answers to these questions will be revealed soon on another post coming up soon. Now what you can do right now is to answer them all in the comments section. Whoever will answer the most number of questions correct will get a big-big-big prize. Those who do not feature on this post can forgive the author. He had too much lunch and was obviously cost-cutting.

Hint: See the answers from the existing comments you &*#$%@@!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Whatz ur horror scope???

Sunday, January 18, 2009


ARIES

Ganesha says you will be striving Hard and long for success and straining every sinew and muscle. Ouch that hurts!! Quit plans of joining gym because you will be already straining your muscles. Exercise comes your way free of cost. In times of recession, aren't you happy for this? You should be careful of your health. Don't eat out side. No golgappa. Only home made idli and dosas.


TAURUS

Ganesha says power and project is the name of the game. As your zodiac sign is tough and strong, you might use your physical power to get some project from somewhere. That might land you up in trouble though. 2009 should be taken in a spirit of enterprise and adventure for a maximum mileage. So a career in field of falsehood, drudgery (wonder if Raju from Satyam is a Taurean) is on the cards. Your creativity will be at an all-time high. You will carve out innovative excuses of how to avoid taking bath. There's a big possibility of your bf/gf ditching you, so u better do something abt it right now...I'm single,btw.


GEMINI

Ganesha says there are 3 main trends:

1. Good money will come your way in one way or the other. I think Ganesha doesn't know it's recession period now. Which world is he living in? (pun very much intended)

2. Domestic disturbances the health of parents and in-laws could cause concern/anxiety. Although, I don't think health of in-laws would cause any anxiety to anyone.


CANCER

Ganesha says, a thwacking good year for cancerians. Marriage, journeys, fame, love, communications, the birth of children, a house or office move. Loving and marrying your own children, all in a year? I really don't envy you. You have earned your place in the sun! The sun's hot, I'm hot, hell is hot. No wonder all the hot babes end up in hell.


LEO

Money is the master key. Hard work and gains are the legacy of Jupiter. Saturn advises caution in food and family matters. Newly married women- don't learn cooking. Newly married men- eat bahar ka biryani….Ganesha says, the bonus will be spirituality and a higher level of consciousness. Become a sanyasi. Anyway, there's nothing worth it to watch on T.V anymore. It will help you to live life fully.



VIRGO

Top drawer creativity, clear and powerful expression children, games of chance love hobbies make sure pleasure and profit. People mix pleasure and creativity and play a game and profit by (re)producing children. But you do need to take care of your health. Pray to Hanuman / Allah / Zoroaster / Jesus- in short, don't come to me again for help. Polish your image and be POSITIVE. No other blood group will do, after polishing. B+ only rocks.


LIBRA

Windows of opportunity, as the Americans says, open out for you on the home and domestic frontierS. I don't think any opportunity will make Ranbir Kapoor come through the window of my home. Here's your chance, a RARE one, for PEACE and HARMONY,, despite expences and worries. Oh, so the tax department will finally get closed down? Saturn will trouble you, but also help you in tradition, the welfare of others, Philanthropy, true spirituality and liberation from material bondage. How come I'm in trouble and I am benevolent and spiritual etc. for other's welfare ???? Life is unfair and Fair and Lovely will NOT work !!


SCORPIO

This says Ganesha, could be a fine a year, for the both honey (love) and adventure. If you drink honey, you have to pay fine to Ganesha. So don't drink honey. Don't have monkey sex (adventure). Ganesha asks fine for that too.



SAGITTARIUS

Up to september it may be troublesome for the health. HECK !! i am already feeling low and feverish, i blame it on you. From september onwards great progress in career. OHH !! is it ? i will want a dreamless slumber till then, bye bye i am going on hibernation guys.After september spouse will be more positive in sex. Errr who wants a viagra ? The state of money crisis might drive you crazy too. Obviously i am no bill gates.I'll be better  if i devise a plan of action, that will prevent my money from going away to the dinasours.

CAPRICORNS

The tallest tree in the world was 450 feet. You can compare yourself to the tallest tree in terms of stature, class, power! The government is obsessed with chopping off trees and still ranting about for a Green India, so yeah, I know how powerful I'll be if I'm compared to the tallest tree. Taller you are, the more are the chances of you getting chopped off. Success and fame will RIDE with you! Have your driving license ready. It'll be a ride to the top so keep your parachutes ready to come crashing down, since it's recession. It's a wonder gravity is still working.


AQUARIUS

Ganesha Confirms sudden ups-and-downs are almost certain. You will be going by the elevator very often. Life could be a see-saw but you will enjoy the 'high' phases, and come terms with yourself. Happy boozing sessions to Aquarians. The pleasures of the bed right sleeping like a curled up cosy cat, to violent and passionate sex, dreams and visions, telepathy and clairvoyance are also include under the umbrella of this forecast. Umbrella and sex. Hmmm…


PISCES

Friends, profit and promotion, children, hobbies, wish-fulfilment, socialising and all group activities are a few of the goodies in store for you. But separations and law cases and parting of the ways for various reasons is also foretold. It is better to endure the torture from your spouse than from the Indian judiciary which prolongs every damn case. Rest assured you will be finally divorced when your grandchildren get grandchildren.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Two 00 Eight LOL'able moments :D

Saturday, January 3, 2009
Last year had its share of some unusual yet funny,wicked yet cool & hot but yet so chilled moments. No, we aren't talking about terror attacks because we don't want to snatch away the rights from other bloggers for the wrongs. So, here are some filtered moments from being extraordinary to simply ordinary but coolsome in a way :P

1) ' THE QUANTUM OF SHOE-LACE'All Iraqi reporters reading this, we want to tell you that you need some serious aiming practices. How the hell can you miss a one time golden opportunity to hit the real bird in the bush. I will tell all the readers what went wrong in the throwing:
i) the projectile angle
ii) the quantum behind it (Rajinikanth and Daniel Craig combination anyone??)
I have heard that base ball players are the best in ducking, but what about Indonesians or African-Americans ?? (That means Obama ki Maccain next time :P)

2) KHANTASTIC WAR

Okay when you are 43 and unmarried you need some anti-depressant ..what better than a war for a warrior? Gud Job Salman you getting serious in rehearsals .we have heard that you are playing a warrior in your next home flick 'Veer'.

But what when you are 43 and still stammer not just for KKKiraaan (which makes Aamir call you a dog because it's his legal biwi now) but also for KKKaran ?? C'mon Shahrukh you are SRK not SRgay try working with international artists like J.LO rather than desi brand K.JO (learn from Akki who worked with a Doggie :P)

3) THAPPAD DA TASHAN Harbhajan ne Sreesanth nu jandasa jad ditta.Good going Bhajji if not you, then I guess i would have done that, after all, Hayden and I had serious discussions on his off beat dancing skills at all inappropriate places from Live shows to Tv Ads.


4) WHAT THE F___ilms ?

Drona - The empty chairs cried with me (rona) while watching it and perhaps ran away before i did.Gawd !! the supernatural hero was in kurta payjama, I mean , c'mon AB, even today Chaddis are iconic for such roles.

Tashan and Maan gaye-mughael-e-ajam - I bet 10000 USD if you name any worse piece of shit than these two movies (Thanks RGV, for releasing your AAG last year).

Ghajini- Alright, I forgot why I wrote this name here & shit!! I don't see my tattoos either :P


5) CELEBRITY BUGGERS errrrrr BLOGGERS

Big B - I slept. I woke up. I coughed. Jaya came. I coughed again. Abhishek will go a long way. Aishwarya is great. I am a normal human being.

Amir Khan - Shahrukh is the name of my DOG (thinks for two days) Yes ! Shahrukh is my friendly DOG.

Salman Khan (DKD official blog) - "Doooh nothhhh reacthhhh on wathhh dahh Mediaaah saysss." (who needs American, Australian or British accent guide??)

Ram Gopal Verma - Who ??


6) BUTT WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM ?

Someone give John Abraham good dialogues in his next film or else his butt will start speaking. After watching Dostana, i watched NEW YORK's Promo (Nanga John Chi chi). Ranbir,you missed it dude. Saawariya would have been a hit otherwise :D

7) REALITY SAUCE

Kya aap Panchvi Pass se tez hain ? - Haan jarur hain, agar humein bhi bacchon ke tarah pahley se Answers pata hon.

Dus ka Dum - What Percentage of Indians think that one needs to flush his/her brain before watching this game show?

Fear Factor - People were damn sacred to watch the khatra so they avoided it. BTW, who the hell calls 'HOT BABES' as 'DEVIYAAN' ? (perhaps this King still has ancient values intact).

Roadies - Ab iss ch*** show k baare mein bha**** *** kya bolna? Ab do baar ga** lagegi do taklon ke samney :P

Junoon kuch Kar dikhaney ka - @#%#% Source error ## (Hrithik, why didn't you take your identical twin Harman Baweja in that? ...Learn from Raghu-Rajiv Brothers dude!)

Big Boss 2 - Saharanpur rocks everywhere I gotta see it. RAKHI SAWANT are you listenings your souls sibling lives theres ..are you comings with me ??

8) RECESSION BIN

One of the most talked about topic in 2008 was recession. Even Kareena Kapoor lost weight in 2008. Last time we saw her, she had 21 inch dole shole in Don. Now just after Lehmann Brothers miscalculated their financial policies, whole world fell like Aussie Cricket Team's wickets. Aussie ki taisee! Every big banking giant was found flaunting katoras from the already poor stricken Governments. Most of the US is now selling their properties in kaudiyo k bhaav to get whatever money they can get. Every reader is encouraged to donate chawannies to US. Now what is interesting in Indian perspective is that everyone is saying that nothing will effect India but the fact is the Indian companies who were even minutely dependent on US and the west have lost their sarees like draupadi and this cheer haran is getting prolonged day by day. Almost all IT companies have delayed their new recruitments. Those who are calling freshers must using them as ITem girls and boys. [sour grapes!] The most disturbing outcome of this can be lowering of the marriage prospects of IT professionals in India. Haaila!