Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Suprizzzze \:D/ \:D/ \:D/

Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Folks this is RAHUL SHARAD DRAVID, I play cricket for Indian team and have made 10823 test runs and 10585 runs in ODI. I was born on 11th Jan 1973 and after 16 years, 3 months and 3 days, there was a girl born. She loved me, she adored me, she worshiped me. I think today i am a famous person just because of her. People call me 'Wall' coz perhaps she wanted them to call me so. I was called Jammy coz perhaps She liked JAM too. Her email ID tells how madly this gal was in love with me.

I am a married man now and I regret it, coz i have come to know about her, when i already have a kid and when My wife is expecting the second one too. I could have married a Rahul fanatic & that would have made me a lot happier than facing 408787 balls and taking 377 catches in the international cricket. She believes that I am her True man coz I am soft spoken, gentle, kind, reliable and adorable. I think she is my true lady coz she loves cricketers like me (Vijeta reading?), She has the team spirit (Indian team readintg ?) she is fun (my kids reading ?), she is pretty (other Rahul fanatics reading ?).

It takes a lot from within and a lot from outside for a former Indian Skipper to come public and talk about his fan, but it's a lot simpler game the other way round. But one should get what one deserves, so with the help of a few of her blogger mates, I am going to declare that this girl's craziness has finally paid off and all you Dravid fans can add me up, my email id is 'ilovemadhuriiyer@gmail.com'

Now all you readers must have guessed it by now that I am talking about MADS a.k.a MADHURI IYER and yes the reason is, that it's her b'day today. So I swear by all those 970 boundaries that i have hit in international cricket that this gal deserves more, even more than my speech and the reason this speech was not funny is because it's by me. I don't crack jokes, it's not my nature.

By the way I have forced all the owners of this blog to change the color to 'Pink' coz she loves it, Peter was reluctant par Abhinav ne dil pe patthar rakh k isssey change kiya hai. Then we ordered a pink cake,and a pink card, again the boys were reluctant but they had to obey my order. Rest both the gals (Bhawana and Nidhi) seem pretty cool by the idea. Now I am really confused with my gift, so I have decided that I will gift her all the possible emotions from my side.

:) -be happy when you remember me..

:D - Grin when you see my pics.

:"> - blush when you see this post

>:D< - hug when you see my posters.

 ;) - wink when you see me. 

:X - get love struck every time with me.

 8-> - Daydream when you think of me.

=)) - roll on the floor laughing when I crack a joke.

\:D/ -dance when you are thinking of making a chance.

=; - Hi5 me on everything possible.

:-h - Now say goodbye. I have to go.

Friday, April 10, 2009

PROB-LAMES

Friday, April 10, 2009
Look around and you will find tension over people's head instead of those natural black/white/blond/Grey things made from dead cells. People have to ponder and take tension of every matter around and invite their PIA and DURA matters along in the brain pissing exercise.

Half of the world is busy fucking and the rest half is fucking busy.

But being a SFTian we have to ensure that we take it with a pinch of salt and a punch of chilled and hot chops. We are turning the wagon wheel and lets see what all silly and frustrating events come up. I am sure some are just lame and some are just not the same.

JOBS/RECESSION

Some people desperately want a BLOW, Some Desperately want a JOB and Some Despos just want both these things together.

Engineers (specially computer and IT) have a void at the end of each program they plan for and other engineers just have 0 error but countless warnings in their future plans. Someone told me that the best investment for now is to invest in higher studies. I say but what If i am done with my studying, do I go for a triple PhD ?

Anyways if you are an engg like me and don't have a job, then one suggestion for now, READING 'a-S-F-T' WILL NOT HELP :|


PALAK-6.0 -ROADIES DOWN UNDER !!


She has changed the meaning of 'USP' for any TV show.Made Roadies equivalent to hell, Now i am sure once roadies gets over and Rakhi Sawant is married, she is gonna replace her in all the crying ceremonies.

Check out the beauty of this sentence and better appreciate my lame creativity.

" How the Roadies can, a girl give Maa, bahen, beti galis 24x7 on a National TV".

I told u 'roadies' is now equivalent to 'hell'..duh !

She has this manly voice which I have heard in my horrifying dreams so many times, and when she gets happy i get depressed, When she laughs I cry, when she cries I laugh.

She has become the antonym of Joy for me . I have controlled myself from not breaking TV every nano-second of what i have seen her,and the reason is that i watch it in my hostel ka TV so can't really break it, I do My breathing exercise, Count till 10, take chill pills whenever I see her. I hate all the PALAKs in the world becoz of that 'BEEP'.


ORKUT sCRAP


One morning I got up and saw some 1300 scraps missing, then i asked some people, they had lost 2000 scraps. some lost 3000 scraps, and some people became a complete 'SCRAP-VIRGIN' once again.

Then like a true 007 Fanatic, i investigated every single tiny finger profile possible, and came to know from scrutinizing Orkut's blog that, It has now removed all the scraps sent by the people who are no longer in your list or have, deleted their account and all the link wale scraps are now considered as SPAM. so UNSPAM them and get those few scraps muft muft muft :D


FACING-BOOK PROBLEMS


Okay it's complex and not user friendly at all and as Abhinav says: "orkut k jaisi meeti ki kushboo nahi aati hai ismein se, orkut is Desi" I would have agreed with him even if he had said Orkut is Bangla-desi.

I don't understand FB shuru kahan se hota hai aur khatam kahan hota hai. Some People are voracious FBookers and some are just QUIZohlolics. Well I have thought of creating a quiz called

"WHICH SLANG SUITS YOU THE MOST"

woh bhi hindi mein, so if u are really an MC in BC's disguise the world will come to know soon ;)


INDIAN PROBLEMATIC LEAGUE

We are a county having a population of more than a billion people, but we don't have enough security forces to carry out two major events simultaneously. So we organize it in some other country and it's like, a Mother giving her whole uterus to some other person, just coz she is not immune enough :|


SIMPLY PROBLEMS


These are all about small-small individual problems like, you flunked your boards or you have aids/cancer/hepatitis-B. You met an alien and no one believes you. You lost someone special. You are in an important meeting and you have to pee, or you just broke you nose and now you look like a parrot with tapes on.

Actually these are the problems, no one bothers about coz they don't qualify for the LAME category ;)



P.S : MADS promised in her last post, that the best English-rapist walks away with an award. So people tried their luck and there was a tough competition between PINK ORCHID & SHAUNAK according to MADS, so she decided to give the award to both these rapists.

Guys here is your prize
(aho it rhymes!!)