Best Wishes

To the person who paved way to create this blog,

All the best for the new life ahead. We wish you success and we hope you continue to stay with this blog for years to come even when you are busy with the new assignments you are going to take. ;)

Peter, you'll be missed till you're away. Be back soon. xoxo. :P

Shit for Tat Team

P.S.: Peter is going to start something new with his life. Lets all wish him luck. :)

X'mas(t) Gifts !!

It's Christmas time, but don't expect any gifts out here. We are shitters not Santas. And if you want any gifts, you may please head across to Chitwan's or Harshita's blog, I'm sure they are related to Santa (Singh) in some claus(e) or the other. Punju and all.

Ok !! Now that I've thrown out Peter and Abhinav, the mean boys of SFT who have pulled your leg all year, you can heave a sigh of relief. It's Christmas, and I'm gonna make sure, that the end of the year doesn't mean the end of us i.e. you people breaking ties with us.

I'm gonna play Ms.Santa Claus, with an invisible paunch, dressed in pink (Sorry, red isn't my colour, really!) with a whole bag of goodies for all you bloggers who have put up with us for one whole year (and coming here to be made fun of! Guts you have,eh?)


1) Harshita- I would love to gift you with:
-a box of chill pills for the enormous tension you take throughout the year.
-an orkut profile: I know Facebook and Twitter are in, but really...you need to get desi and orkut sometime!

2) Amrita Roy- A huge teddy bear and kisses and hugs from all of us..She just loves any display of affection, doesn't she?

3) Amrita~Ams-First of all, welcome to Hyderabad (That was Peter welcoming you) I Would love to gift you with a dog. Leave that billi for some time please, now how about some jokes on lazy doggie?

4) Akansha-Now, she hardly blogs because her TIME is invested in CAT. Now, CAT bhai log, please throw her in those prestigious IIMs so that she can do a Chetan Bhagat (Hey, play safe Akansha :D)

5) Shruti-How about giving you some lessons in Photoshop? You needn't upload new pics everyday then! You can only edit your old pics and change the background and ishtyle every week :P

6) Dhanya- I gifted her smileys, gossip, my junior in college, gossip, scrabble wins, gossip, and you still want a gift for X'mas? Selfish girl!

7) Shaunak-Lets just not give him anything. He has the right 'build' to play Santa :P Let me just give him an autograph by Chetan Bhagat. I'm sure that is one thing he would die for!

8) Chitwan- I don't need more competition in the form of another lawyer, so how about gifting you with a dance academy of your own. Let the judges dance to my tunes, dude.

9) Nidzzi-Madam is off to learn Spanish, but with those typos, anyone would think she's talking Spanish when she types English :D. Let's gift you with a spell check software especially designed for you..and helps us in understanding you :P

10) Peter-Bad boy number 1. After post-bashing almost every blogger in blogsville, you think you deserve a gift? Come to think about it, despite post-bashing every blogger, he still remains one of our most eligible bachelors. Blogsville surely is weird. Now all those line maars isn't a gift, then what is?

11) Abhinav-Bad boy number 2. Endless his posts are about how he tried to understand the fairer sex (Refer his old posts, now our boy has grown up and given up) I gift you with tuitions classes (taken by yours truly) for teaching you the art of understanding girls. It's not that difficult. You just have to nod and say 'yeah' to whatever we say!

Merry X'mas bloggers and may you keep dragging your mouses here :)

Is this BRB for TRP ?

13th Dec 2009, 10.00 P.M

"I started this blog 1 year ago and made wonderful friends, shared emotions, laughed out loud, cried at times, increased my G.K., Decreased my Sense of humor, enhanced my writing skills and the most important of all, wasted my Precious time. But now I have realized, world is more than just 'www.blogspot.com'. I want to move on, give my career a new meaning (I don't know if that itself has any meaning), see the world, fly in the open sky like a bird, introspect, then correct myself. Hence this would be my last post ever.

P.S: will miss all of you

By XYZ.

Comments :

1. A : Whatttttttttttt :O you will not blog again.OMG i have tears in my eyes. Will miss you for sure, I remember the awesome fun we had :(( Please think again and blog once in a while.

**A thinks** ... Shit Man !! She was the only one who used to comment regularly on my blog, now what? I will have to get a new Bakri !

**XYZ thinks**... was it a shocker ? dude I get more comments in one post than what you have in all your posts combined and you are blogging since 2 years. Loser !!

2. B : Awwwww ..best of luck dear with your life, will surely miss you here, but hell with that, we are together on FB,Orkut,Twitter,Hi5,Friendster, Gmail. So It's okay !! *hugs*, *kisses*

**B thinks** ...waise bhi you were not blogging much these days aur main kaun sa tera poor post padhta hun kabhi, direct title and P.S aur uppar k ek do comment padh k comment marta hun. Mainu ki farak painda hai :P ?

**XYZ Thinks**... Saale, I know you will miss me, the undisputed Pervert of all time you are !!.

I don't even remember a single Status message, album pic, quiz results where you haven't commented. I made Hi5 in 2005 and uploaded the pics..and you comment in 2009. ssup with you? Gee ! may you get HIV :P

3. C : I have nothing to say, other than best of luck with your life, may you get all the happiness you deserve

**C thinks**.. I have commented so many times on her blog but she never commented on mine,sent a Friend request on all the friendship sites possible and she rejected all of them. She looks hot,she should have stayed man !! at least I get to see her Blogspot DP once in a while.

**XYZ thinks** Who is this bugger ?

.

.

.

.

100 (senti) comments.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

14th Dec 2009, 10.00 P.M

" I realized what my strength is, I saw who my real time friends are, I saw it all. If I leave today, I will enjoy today, enjoy tomorrow, enjoy for a month may be, then I will suffer, the Pain will insinuate in the worst possible manner and the ville will cry out for me. So why let it cry after a month. I will stick around here, may be I will take a small break, a break that would be larger than the time elapsed between Atal Bihari Vajpayee's two consecutive verbal words and smaller than how it feels like Watching Ram Gopal Verma ki AAG. Okay let's make it simple, I will take a Kit-Kat wala break.

I love you all.

Comments:

1. A : YAY ! you are back. Welcome back.

**A thinks**... I Knew it already.

**XYZ thinks**... Dude every time you guys fall for it. Dumbos !

2. B : Man I can't believe,So happy I am. Welcome back :)

**A thinks**... I knew it already, this is like 12th time in just one year.

**XYZ thinks**... This is guy worships me, *grins*.

3. C : Hey you are back again ? Wow ! welcome anyways :)

**C thinks**... I knew it already, she is addicted, I mean who would leave a blog with so many followers. I will probably take two janams to get that many number of followers.

**XYZ thinks**... what does he mean by "again" ? next time, I'ma start a new Drama :P

.

.

.

.

.

100 (happy) comments..

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, you might have grasped till now what this post about, if not, try Dabur Shankhpushpi or Satmola for better kidneys. Well, we care for our readers so here's the conclusive summary. It's about the people who go bang bang bang on their blogs, suddenly post a goodbye blog post and go missing (absent for few days). Unfortunately, they come back again. What **it is this? Some TRP (readership) grabbing stunt? Some pregnancy break? or a case of an MBA going to commit suicide but coming to complete the assignment? OK last line didn't matter. If we wanted we could have given some very bright examples but... we won't..! You needn't do the same. If you think you have your 15 minutes of fame then Just Leave it's gonna be okay! Le..le..le.. Just Leave!

Thanks!

This is NOT a Post

I knew it !
I knew it !
I knew that you will come, and try to see what I did (NOT) mean when I said it’s NOT a post. Now since you have come here, and have already realized that it’s a post which has nothing at all in it, in fact it’s a NO-POST (yes computer engineers can laugh) you can skip reading this and comment or else continue reading it and see what else is (NOT) here.

Speaking of what else is (NOT) here, well we don’t have any comments on Obama’s Nobel Prize for ‘PISS’, we don’t have any plans to ‘wake up any kid’ we are not talking about how reality shows suck, We won’t even discuss how bad the Champions league is. We won’t discuss a lot of other things like, how the Big Bang theory was bang on, how Hydrogen and Oxygen mixed on the surface of moon. We will also not discuss about how this Friday Main and Mrs. Khanna will try to avoid watching a BLUE film. So all in all we will make sure that we do NOT talk about all the things which are NOT important for us.



Let’s also NOT talk about bloggers and blogville, Let’s NOT talk about how this NO –POST sucks, and how SFTians do (NOT) have any ideas for any post. Let’s also not talk about why and how Shruti Nair has (NOT) contributed so far for this blog that obviously means, NOT talking about why she is here in the first place & what she did (NOT) find great about the bloggers of SFT. Let’s not talk about Chriz’s (NOT) so funny jokes and Abhinav’s, (UN)intentional sarcastic comments, let’s also (NOT) focus on Stephan’s (NON) Promotional events & let’s also (NOT) discuss about Mads’s (NON) escalatrophobia, Nidhi’s (un)known Blog’s URL, Dhanya’s new smiley tuition sessions with Mads. We also should ignore the fact that I am (NOT) having writer’s block hence I am (NOT) writing non-sense posts, and My (non)prediction that Harshita won't hate U.K. Let’s also forget about how bloggers are (NOT) better chat entertainers than old school/college friends. How we should (NOT) hate Facebook’s stupid predictions and orkut’s boring applications. Let’s (NOT) concentrate on Bhawana’s chanting Mantras.

Please do (NOT) read this blog from next time onwards too, please do (NOT) think that rest all the bloggers in this Blog are equally insane. Please (DON’T) leave without leaving a comment after reading the posts here in English, like a true Indian. Please Do (NOT) learn something from our Noodle buddies.

I know you have (NOT) enjoyed this post and it's (NOT) like what you thought it would be, I know it’s (NOT) a great post to waste someone’s (NOT) so precious time like this. If you have any complains or feedbacks regarding this post, Please do (NOT) hesitate to give us, We anyway do (NOT) care for you and your feedbacks are always (NOT) appreciated.

I am (NOT) glad that you have read it and I am (NOT) thinking that you will write a comment, a (NOT) nice one at least. I am (NOT) waiting for your comments.

This is NOT a P.S – Please do (NOT) write a comment like this ; “ This is not a comment”. Because you have No right to steal my (NOT) so original concept.

Not a good-bye and I don’t love anyone !

NOT by PETER !

*************This is NOT THE END*************

COME COMMENT ;)

We do write for comments and if by any chance you say that you don’t, then save your electricity bill (write in your personal diary which no one will read) and if you mean you don’t write for 100 comments per post you are okay with even 5 nice ones, then well those are comments too. You just can’t ignore the fact either ways.

You get comments, you reply to those comments and we at ‘a-shit-for-tat’ have been observing that since long. Here comes the funny ‘commenter-author’ bantering on almost all the comment section disasters.

THE FIRST ONES

Commenter: – YAY YAY YAY, I am the first one to do.

Author: – So where is your apple ADAM? You did it with EVE right? or you just did it with The Mountain DEW?

THE PDAs (Public Displays of affection)

Commenter:- Awww, so true Baby, Hugs, Kisses, Muah Muah !

Author:- Ohh Gawd! Did you just not read the Post, eh ? It talks about how much I hate all lesbians and wet kisses, you bitch, you don’t read anything properly, I am sure you are not reading this one too *DANCES* \:D/

THE APATHIES

Commenter: – It happens dude, Jus chillax, Take a chill pill ;)

Author:- What happens Dude? I wrote about how badly I want to commit suicide by myself (which is quite obvious coz it would be a homicide otherwise) and you drop down to say “it happens”.

How many times did you die last month, huh ?

THE SYMPATHIES

Commenter:- Ohh dear I hope all the merciless souls rot In hell and suffer big time. Don’t pay heed to anyone, You rock baby and whoever did it with you is presumably the worst motherfu**ing Bastard alive.

Author :– Hey , WTF ! don’t make an issue out of my boy friend not sharing a lollypop with me last night.

THE BOUNCERS/PREACHINGS

Commenter :- He who had his biggest animosity for even the silliest triumphant whispers, did not see the masked –evil-rouge-kind-of –moron sticking to the basics of mortality. That is the club Mate, welcome to the real world. Cheers !

Author:- Sorry ? are you talking about my post ? Talk in Angreezi pleeeeaaajjj :(

THE not-LINKED-to-the-LIST

Commenter:- Ohh wow ! your Boyfriend must have been delighted with the poem, super kool, kudos ^:)^

Author:- Well, I don’t think so. I have a separate poem for him. This one was for my father :|

THE WORST EVER : – well there are basically 10 varieties of such kind and all have more or less these kind of replies in respective order.

Commenter:- i) Nice Post ii)Cool iii)LOL iv) :D v) WOW vi) Good Job Vii)You have been tagged/awarded viii) Blogrolled you ix) awww x) Hugs >:D<

Author :– i) Thnks ii) I know iii) He He iv) :P v) Thnks vi) I knw vii) Ohh lemme see viii) Good for you ix)*blushes* x) >:D<>

THE WHACKY ANONYMOUS

Commenter(anonymous):– I differ from what a pervert man would say. Actually all of you are the who’s who of human crap. You act like you did not do anything and you are sensitive but you pounce on the other hot gal the very next moment .

Author: – Listen I wrote it out of experience & if you have got the guts, then don’t be anonymous.

Commenter :– you are a pervert. *Period*

Author: – You sound like a female pervert, and you better keep your period to yourself (LOL kidding).

Commenter:- Blergh X-(

Author:- Someone is pissed.

.

.

.

And it goes on till either of them surrender or till he/she blocks the anonymous commenter.

THE OWN STORIES

Commenter:- WOW you know what ? Once upon a time, I was like you and then I went for estivation, but it did not work then I tried out hibernation, Bang ! It worked, I am so glad it worked.

Author: – Yeah ! but this post is about me being Insomniac not about what you did in your last birth in ICE AGE.

P.S :- Well this post is not having any intentions of maligning anyone’s name indirectly or directly and if you ask me where is the genuine comment category ? Then the answer is…right in the comment section of this post… See we are kind to whoever comments here ;)

BLOGGERS ON THE MENU --- which one is you ?

Blogspot is densely packed with plethora of yummy and yucckkkkky bloggers and their respective blogs, but just like the way someone raped what William Wordsworth once said in to a toxic version as “the beauty lies in the eyes of a BEER holder” we also have our own assumptions. We are baking the names up and serving you on our ‘a-shit-for- tat’ along with some sarcastic cherry toppings and slapstick float drinks.

THE BREEZERS

These are the simplest bloggers alive and that too in abundance. They would write about all the things they did today/y’day as per their time management. From attending his/her (mostly) ‘calls’ to attending his (mostly)/her ‘nature’s call’. About his (mostly)/her ‘work’ and about his/her (mostly) ‘dates’. They hardly go berserk and violent on any topic unless it’s a terror attack or a female molestation case or some personal bad experiences. In short they are almost non –harmful, just like a BREEZER which has merely 4% alcohol. Their blogs are like personal diaries but the irony is that it’s public. You peep in there, read what’s going on (if you are interested) or you have the option of being reluctant in whatever is happening in some unknown random person’s life and they don’t give a damn about it, that’s why their comments oscillate between 5-25 per post.

THE RUMS

Okay the name should have been ‘THE GUMS’ but it’s not a beverage so a rhyming one would do for the time being errrr WTF (what the fake?)

They are always high about their own life problems. Fiascos, break-ups, bad phases, Examinations, Health problems (yes pregnancy cases too!), trauma’s and severe other possible ways of frustrating themselves and the readers along with it. A few DEV Ds and a huge DEVI Ds are the examples. They are also gender biased most of the times, e.g, a female blogger would curse her ex-

bf even if she has dumped him and the bechara had no fault whatsoever in a poem like this:

“He the fuck had no fucking right to fuck me and leave,

I the fuck, will fucking hunt him down & I fucking swear by Eve.”

A male blogger will curse his ex-gf somewhat like this:

“So insane and ugly was the fucking bitch,

That I had no other option than to fuck her and ditch.”

Gawd !! somebody give them anti-depressants, and ask them to Shut the Fuck up. Anyways they are moody, so analyze your own comments and then write and dare not give any suggestions, else you will be in their F rated versions from the next time onwards.

THE WHISKIES

They write such hi-fi/ sci-fi/ wi-fi poems, short stories and even jokes that sometimes you can’t understand even after turning the pages of your dictionary or even after googling for hours, coz it’s either their made-up words or some very cleverly penned down emotions. for example

“The alacrity of my wit and the euphoria of her sanity made even the curmudgeon go week on the knees and the dearth of insanity started vanishing and thereby tranquility emerged.”

Kisi k baap ko samjh nahi ayega, ki yeh kya bol raha hai.

And the made-up words and hence the sentences which will come up would be something like this.

“The horizonated blissingly pleasure is captionated somewhere in my mind”

These type of bloggers get two types of comments

i) Awesome work dude, nice usage of words and beautifully narrated (Oh really?? You mean you got what he means?)

ii) Cool poem (simplest admiration and the worst comment of all time)

THE MARGARITAS They are phunny and phunky and phoool oph humour. You visit their blogs and smile, giggle, LOL, ROFL and visit again and repeat the previous procedure. They will write even the biggest of their fiascos in a humorous manner. They are the prototypes of Chandler/Barny. Would write about intellectual stuffs in a funny manner and jokes in a serious manner. The irony makes It LOLable. They are smart and know how to tackle an issue, they will insult you publicly and yet you won’t mind it. They are in fact anti-depressants. One of the ‘next to extinct’ species on the blogville.

THE BEERS

They would upload a picture taken/googled and then would write four-five lines on it, sometimes it’s too brilliant and sometimes its cliché, but its always nice coz you get to read small posts and then comment properly. You never misinterpret or get confused. But it’s always difficult to figure out whether they wrote those lines first or they searched that figure first. Either way it’s nice.

THE PINA COLADAS

They are the blend of all the above bloggers, they crib, they abuse, they are sarcastic, they are serious , they are funny. They are so simple yet so complex, they are unpredictable and yet so obvious. Would leave serious impressions. They are the perfect cocktail of all the emotions present in the world so be ready to get shocks/surprises any time from their blogs. They are moody and so their blogs are. Infact the second next to extinct variety on blogville. They would write poems, real life incidents, one liners, jokes, absurd posts but will bring variety. In short they rock and they rock even when they sulk and suck.