MMX Anno Domini :D

Ladies and gentlemen, insane and sane,

Shit 4 Tat is back to give you some pain,

Presenting a summary of decade's first year end,

Led to a lot of views got changed,

CWG's money changed hands,

Kalmadi to Assange, Dolly to costly Oneeyan,

Oh shit, only 2 years left for the world to end,

Sit back and enjoy, 2010...

1) Blasted off:

Miss Universes and Miss Worlds can only wish for a peaceful world. 2010 saw terror blasts, earthquake in Haiti. 2011 might just see Pakistan disappear as a nation with blasts taking place there as often as Dolly Bindra was caught using swear words.

2) Radia Tapes:

Will 2011 see the untarnished reputation of Ratan Tata meet a blow? Only time will tell...And we hope we don't have to say Tata to this gem of a person. Although people are still confused about what Radia tape actually had. Some thought it was Radio Active. Some thought it was all-in-vain attempt by Barkha Dutt to become as famous on Twitter as Arnab Goswami. Also, Neera Radia might be a good enough contender in running for Rajya Sabha next time, or Bigg Boss, who knows.

3) Social only working and Wickedleaks:

Wicked leaks was THE THING to discuss in the latter half of the year. But how Julian Assange was framed is one another matter in itself. Probably her mistresses has planned to sing ‘Assange saareee raat, soniyo vey’ but he leaked before he could peaked. Talking of Internetting, apna Mark Zuckerberg got TIME person of the year award. Wah ladke! He also got portrayed brilliantly by Jerry Eisenberg in the Movie ‘The Social Network.’ And it all boiled down to the fact that he made all the sites he made because of a girl. Sigh. Also, the movie clearly told that we all loved the way he lied. Also, Twitter ruled. And will rule. If you are still not there, are you an Orkutiya? Seriously? Follow @shitfortat chupchaap.

4) Suresh Kalmoohe and co.:

Despite accolades and medals won by India at CWG, the world saw India in shameful light after the corruption accusations turned out to be true. Crores of money was misrepresented and every Indian now wishes that we never host any international event again.

5) Way too bigg was this boss:

She came, she yelled and she still stayed!! :O

Bigg Boss was at its worst in its 4th attempt. The industry's biggest failures were the contestants and it was pretty tuff to decide who to eliminate, since everyone sucked. Salman of course wowed audiences by BEING HUMAN...But he was the only reason people could withstand the show. Amitabh uncle returned with KBC in a valiant attempt to get the cash flowing at home, with Abhishek yet again failing at the box office. Is this why Amitabh and Shweta Bachhan are coming on Koffee with Karan for the zillionth time?

6) Game on!

Statistics proved that 2010 was the year of break ups. We can't really blame the boys for staying glued to the television throughout the year and ignoring their girls...This was the year of sporting action! India did extremely well despite the corruption controversies at IPL and Commonwealth Games. Sania Nehwal and Somdev became our new eye candy. Many records were broken by Team India in cricket, Ashes were reconquered by England and 2011 brings on the World Cup. Game set match, this was :D

7) Obama at Maa India

Mumbai's diwali was reduced to a quiet affair with President Obama making a visit. Firecrackers were prohibited, hawkers were kicked out, roads were only filled with policemen....No, it wasn't a happy Diwali for Mumbai at all. Manmohan Singh and Co. fell all over Obama, only to have him declare that US would have plenty of job opportunities in 2011. Huh! Did I hear anyone say Obama ki maa ki?

Rahul Gandhi tried to do an Obama by making a visit to a college in Ahmedabad. He messed up quite brutually and Gujjuland didn't take very kindly to him. The next Prime Minister of India? We don't think so.

8) Boxed office:Rajnican and being Dabbanged

Dabbang broke all records, and for a change we saw little of SRK around. But of course, he had to spoil the new year by starring in Koffee with Karan season 4 and moaning about his 'sad' life and him being 'lonely'. The Munnis and Sheilas took over the idiot box and discs all around, one can only wonder if this is the same India which is considered to be conservative. Rajnikanth sms's spread like fire. Shhhh, Rajnikanth reads shit for tat :-s

9)Break ups and make ups:

Salman and SRK fought and made up again this year. Kareena and Saifu, Bips and John, PC and Shahid (Maybe together/who cares), yawn yawn. Even Malaika and Arbaaz Khan are still together. Angelina and Brad didn't get married, as expected. Possibly the only 2 biggest weddings of this year were Shoaib-Sania and Shashi Tharoor-Sunanda.

Happy new year, people! May you have a fun filled, awesome year ahead =)

P.S- The title of the post was Abhinav's idea :D Cool naa? :D

Know Your Shiters

Hello Readers,

Before we celebrate the greatest occasion in Shit For Tat's history, please step aside and (let the drum rolls begin) congratulate our very loving Nidhi for getting engaged with her's Rohit. Big big big BIG congratulations to the couple. (keeping the drum roll going on)

So, Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls, its my pleasure to announce the fact the Shit For Tat has completed 2 years of its existence! Congrats to you reader log. Its just because of you people, and us of course, S4T is up and running.*teary eyes*

People, it is not an easy task to keep a joint blog running. We people have had numerous Yahoo messenger chats, heated discussions over gayish issues, over pity issues like AC, over important issues like Jobs, over pity issues like sex. Sorry :) Apart from the posting shitty posts, it has helped a lot to gain friends from all over. Mutual friends, friends of friends and what not, we have came across a long time, came across a lot of people, came across several hundreds of comments, first time visitors who stayed, one-time visitors who shitted and went away, and regulars like you all. Love you all from all the 4 chambers of our 4 hearts, That makes it 16 chambers. But who cares. Thanks for being there reading this.

For this special occasion, for the first time, we are about to reveal a something about the people behind and on the side of this blog.

Ashwin, Abhinav, Nidhi, Madhuri. Here is a small write up from each of them about you they actually are. In real life that is.

Madhuri Iyer


Hey. this is Madhuri Iyer. Btw, did most of you know my real surname is NOT Iyer?
Caught you!

No, I'm serious! My caste/community/whatever doesn't have surnames. My dad's name is my surname, so technically, I am Madhuri Kannan(my Dad's name) But my school insisted that I should have a last name and my dad's name should be my middle name, that's why dad put in Iyer because that's my community/caste/whatever anyway.

I was born in Bombay (it was called Bombay at that time re :O) and brought up in Ahmedabad. I am currently studying in my final year at Gujarat National Law University, Gandhinagar, Gujarat.
Interned in like a zillion parts of India, in law firms, companies, under lawyers in High Courts, Supreme Courts. Hoping to make a rapchik lawyer and do good for my country :D *hugs India*
Many of you have asked me what kind of lawyer I will become in the future. I will not become a criminal lawyer, because I do not like criminal law and it's not a field where girls can stick around unless they have godfathers in the profession. I am interested in labour laws and intellectual property rights for now. Building an interest in taxation and corporate law.

I was lucky to be able to meet Abhinav and Peter, my sft buddies in Hyderabad earlier this year. Wish I can meet Nidhi Mangal too :D

Looking for a job currently. Brb :P

Abhinav

Hi reader fox, I am Abhinav Bhatt. I am from Jaipur and currently in Bangalore, working ;)  I had a lame blog called Y2A Slog and nobody knew me except some millions of fans, err some 4-5 people who read and commented. That was it. But then I got a proposal from Peter to start writing for a Joint Blog. I accepted and see I am famous now! :) 4-5 people who read have converted to 40-50 and that's enough. From S4T, I have gained so many new friends which I could have never made. Through S4T, I learnt to love writing, whatever crap it may be, just write and get things out of your head. I thank you S4T people who letting me in. Thanks. For girls who like good hearted people, ping me separately. HeeHee.

Nidhi

Busy in Her Di's Marriage and her own dreams. Her Bio will come later. :)

Peter

Hello world !

If you don't know me,then probably you should jump out of a balcony and die (ideally speaking). But I don't want that to happen, not because I care or something but it's just that S4T is too small to see someone die on his birthday !!

I never wanted to reveal what I am, what I do, what I eat, what I like, what i hate, my age, my height, my weight, my colour, my desires, my plans, my past, my present, my future, not a single thing ! I wanted to be anonymous, but somehow I did open up in the beginning itself and then mingled up with the e-world and it felt right, in fact it became the priority and since then there has been no turning back and the best part is that I don't regret it even for a second. Now if my personal life interests you then, I have grown up in Jamshedpur (and that has been the awesomest time of my life), did my college (engg) from Hyd and working in Hyd. My family moved to Kolkata, as soon as I moved to Hyd. I have an elder brother. Enough for now ?? GOOD !!  Will let you guys know more about me on his 3rd birthday !

And now some exclusive S4T get together moments. Bear them

First Ever meetup. Nidhi and Peter in Kolkata

Indiblogger Meet bangalore 2010

Indiblogger Meet bangalore 2010

Indiblogger Meet bangalore 2010 

Abhinav Nidhi, Bangalore

Peter, Abhinav and Mads in Hyderabad

Mads, Amrita, Peter and Abhinav, hyderabad, Peter's Birthday Bash

Peter, Mads and Abhinav, Hyderabad

Peter, Abhinav Hyderabad

Peter, Abhinav, Amrita. (Amrita was a regular Shit For Tat reader and billi blogger in herself so we invited her. All boys look bad.)

P.S.: Abhinav is the only person to meet them all. Yo!

T-SHIT !!

Happy Diwali, folks! Let’s make the most of this Gujju New Year and we Sftians make a new year resolution to entertain you, poke fun at you, pretend we are the coolest things on Planet Earth and you are just some insignificant Pluto-ians, so on so forth. In short, we’ll make sure, things won’t change between us and you!! :P

Things have changed quite a bit since our last post. Our fellow sftian Nidhi Mangal is almost engaged and she’s loving it (No one has ever sent her those anti-marriage sms forwards, I guess) Abhinav Bhatt is still confused between 5 girls whom he likes (And none of those 5 girls like him…Oh wait, you already guessed that, didn’t you? :P) Mads is flooded with job offers from various law firms and companies and she’s too lazy to make her choice (At least 5 years of law school taught me to lie very well!) Peter is as usual in his own world…Good for us, we are safe from his outbursts at least for a while (If I am dead after this post is published, you know who is responsible for my murder)

Enough of my Harshita-ity (synonym for bakwas). Diwali means you all should be (AND BETTER BE!!) getting new clothes to wear. My target for this post is those lame-ass t-shirts with horrible captions on them. Just when you think, who the hell would wear such t-shirts, you see 10 dozen guys marching around in them. You can only roll your eyes at such wanna-bes. Like this:

1) Sorry girls, I only date models!

2) I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.

Who on earth will wear this t-shirt with such a one-liner? Makes dialogues from Rajneeti more cooler on your t-shirt, than this one!!

3) Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from many, it's research."

This is a regular quote seen as gtalk or Facebook captions. So spare us from wearing it on your t-shirt and announcing to the world, what a cool plagiarist with a halo on your head you are!!

4) The statement below is true.The statement above is false.

A boy would look sexier wearing a pink chaddi than having such a nonsensical statement stamped on his t-shirt.

5) I am Nobody. Nobody is Perfect. Therefore, I’m perfect.

Are we proving a theorem over here? This outdated one-liner was funny once upon a time in Mumbaai and the whole world, but face it, it’s cooler not being perfect these days J

6) This t –shirt turns green in the company of morons. (Incidentally, the t-shirt is green in colour)

This makes it seem like the wearer of the t-shirt is trying hard to be creatively cool. This one specially won’t work with girls.

7) I’m the person your mother warned you about.

Hey Bhagwan!! My mom would rather help you out in choosing t-shirts with better captions, than warning me.

8) Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Hang on, maybe I can fit a gun inside my mouth and shoot you, ala Rajnikanth style…

9) I don’t need no education.

10) I can only be nice to one person today. Today is not your day. And tomorrow’s not looking good, either.

You can send in your entries. The worst t-shirt caption will be awarded/rewarded :D

Going Up?

Unless you are Robert Langdon you can relate to this post. We all travel in Elevators aka Lifts, don’t we? Not only because we are lethargic to climb those boring stairs. Stairs? Naah. I am going to gym anyways or I walk 3 KMs daily to catch bus or Ooh… I am wearing high heels, how will I be able to use stairs re! But also because some of us might be afraid of using the Escalators. }:-P so when you step into usually 4 by 4 or slightly bigger Elevators you step into a strange world. You are inside a metal cube which is absoluckingfutely small and suspended with just a group of metal strings and you just hope that electricity doesn’t ditch you while you are in there. For a minute or so, you are stuck with complete strangers. You don’t know whether to smile there or not. You cannot know whether you should laugh there or not? Even if you’ve just cracked the most hilarious non-veg joke outside the elevator, you try to curb your laughter but sometimes it spurts out by itself and rest of the junta gets confused instantly as if they were wearing leaves instead of proper clothes. So here are we presenting some insight into the Escalator world and people using it. You must have experienced it unless you are a Claustrophobic.


1.       The Corporate Kind


These are usually the men in age group 35-55 and their face clearly suggests that they are bearing frustrations of work, inability to impress their young secretary, kids who do not listen to a word and tolerating a wife whose weight and demands are increasing faster than the number of the findings of fixed cricket matches. They carry the usual rotting pink color newspaper and a very serious expression as if they fill the highest Income Tax in the world and have just lost a million dollars in Share Markets. You even stare them and they are going to eat you up starting from your eyes without even burping. “You saw me? How dare you even look at me? Do I look like KFC Chicken Wings? Watch your eyes you jerk or I am going to take your tongue out of the lift on ground floor and take the lift to 14th with your tongue still licking the air on ground floor.” They keep themselves busy talking on cell phone or drowning into their Blackberrys.

2.       The Insecure Abla Naari

If you happen to be a girl entering a lift full of males, you ought to be little cautious. Of course, unless you feel very elated when someone asks you, ‘Hor, kii haal hai?’ usually, when you are stuck with males of all shapes and sizes, eyes all over your built, you have to be nervous. Even a guy can feel nervous if he is stuck between Oblique crowd, isn’t it? From a guy’s point of view, when you enter the lift and saw your sapno-ki-rani standing there, how can you not look at her? You have to inhale lot of air to get your tummy in, act as sophisticated as possible and look busy in reading the safety precautions there*. You try to look into her eyes and suddenly take your glance away. Khekhe. Now if you are that nervous girl, which we left stranded few lines ago and got drifted into Bhavnaas, let’s discuss her. She pretends that she has worn a short top/shirt which she tries to stretch downwards as if it’s elastic. She will try to look very busy and will keep on putting the strand of hair behind her ears which keeps falling on account of gravity. Even if you ask her time, her body shivers and trembles as if you have asked for her figure. Bahin, time hi poocha hai, calm down.

3.       The Peep-king Tom

Now this is the favorite. Everyone hates him. Him mostly. He is super duper interested to read the SMS you just received as if it’s his will. He wants to learn your name from your ID card so that he can name his kids the same and your ID Number is his lucky number somehow. The name of your company is as important to him as if these are the last words he wants to say when he dies instead of a ‘ilaha il allah wa mohammad rasul allah’ (there is only one god (allah) he will say Microsoft ahhh… Dead.  He wants to see every minute detail of all the assets he comes across. And they may range from any to any kind. He wants to start a conversation with any humanly-looking-figure so that even 30 seconds don’t go for a waste. ‘Oh you live there, oh I live here. Have you seen Dabangg? Oh look at the ceiling. Oh I killed a mosquito in the morning. Mosquito se yaad aaya, aajkal Dengue bahut fail raha hai, nahi? Bhains ki taang! Taang se yaad aaya, have you seen Lady Gaga? Oot-Pa-Taang.’ He keeps on staring at you, irrespective of your sex, till the point when you have to shake a little to make him realize that you are not a poster. He is not a pervert but the elevator’s ambience makes him do so. Creepy.

4.       The Notorious Kind

Then there are people of our kind. They cannot stop giggling in the lift. They try to hide their ever so smiling face with brilliant yellow teeth but they have to laugh without any joke so they will laugh out loud eventually. They find it alien to press all the strange looking buttons inside the elevator. They love to press the emergency button just to see how the alarm sounds like. They have to by heart the Safety Precautions* so they just recite them loudly. If by chance there exists a Mirror in the lift, they have to do all their make-up there itself.  If they are 2-3 in number, and because of dense population inside, have to find a place in opposite corners, they have to talk/whisper/signal the most important thing in life to each other without fail.

5.       The ‘Who dunnit Club’

AKA eeks kind, these folks have not taken a bath since last Holi. They have stopped using Deodorants when they saw the word inflammable on the pack. They stopped using a handkerchief because someone told them that the hankies are for the guys who wear panties. They have to have Mooli-K-Paranthe or raw Radish in their breakfasts or else they will die. So they have to do part away with the fart. Shit. Yes it is the same. And what better place than the Elevator with a small shiny and invisible exhaust fan to let it go. They can even do it without the sound. Bah, not discussing it any further.

*Safety Precautions: replace the world Elevator with Girlfriend and try to read the precautions next time you enter a lift. For instance, there is a line: Do not overload the Elevator beyond its limit. Keep going up and down folks!

Image Courtesy:
Agency: JWT Brazil
Creative Director: Ricardo Chester/ Roberto Fernandes
Art Director: Silvio Medeiros
Copywrither: Thiago Carvalho