Best Wishes

To the person who paved way to create this blog,

All the best for the new life ahead. We wish you success and we hope you continue to stay with this blog for years to come even when you are busy with the new assignments you are going to take. ;)

Peter, you'll be missed till you're away. Be back soon. xoxo. :P

Shit for Tat Team

P.S.: Peter is going to start something new with his life. Lets all wish him luck. :)

This title isn't good, change it !

This blog's background isn't very good, something more classic would look better ! And the name Shit-for-tat ! Really ? It's not only gross but also offending, it imbibes and showers all the negativity. Do something about it too. Also the themes aren't very funny and updated. Why don't you guys write about Digvijay singh, Baba Ramdev, Lady Gaga and other 'in the news' celebs ? There are loads of jokes on the web about them !

Counselors, advisers, guides, instructors, whatever you name them, are everywhere and mostly unwanted. You don't believe this ? Ask the person next to you, what he thinks about this blog or about you or even about the size of your PEaNUtS (what did you read it first as?).

There are three types of them,

1. Genuine ones

2. Not serious ones

3. Assholes

Got a career problem ? serious life decisions are on hold ? Go to your parents or true well-wishers, which doesn't include your gf btw, coz all she would suggest you is to marry her. So your family and only a few, which means 1, 2 or at max 3 of your best buddies would listen to you and if you are someone with more than 5 best friends, then I am LMAOing at you right now.The rest 2 of them don't exist in this Kalyug. Okay, so these genuine people would help you in putting your best foot forward or at least that's what is expected of them. They all fall in the first category.

Can't sleep ? take a pill ! It burns when you pee ?Well Drink more beer ! Don't feel hungry these days ? Ohh, check if you are pregnant or not :O Got split ends ? Chop your hair off. Running low on cash ? Shoplifting, that's the new 'thing' ! Feeling suicidal ? You could do much better with Ecstasy or Valium ! Bored of sex ? Change your sex or your sex-partner, turn gay or shemale ! Want thrill ? Slap a cop and spit on his face ! Don't like animals ? Well screw 'em, try humping a monkey ! Wanna get high ? Climb Everest ! Wanna experiment ? Put 10 Mentos fresh in a coke bottle and drink it ! wanna feel the heat ? Hug a pressure cooker while its on fire! Wanna get wild ? bite a snake! Got crush on your teacher ? Just propose her ! Got sibling rivalry ? Mix Jamal-Gota in their dinner a day before their board exams! Got a body scar? get the initials of your GF/BF as a tattoo. Wanna be a punk ? Get done with nipple piercing first ! A Snake bit your friend on his penis? Well, suck it ! Your boss is cranky ? Kidnap his daughter or rape his wife! Got Raped ? Chill, it's not like you'r pregnant! You are pregnant? well marry that Rajpal Yadav who proposed you in Engg days. You don't want to marry right now? Steal your bapuji ka paisa and run away from home. Failed in the exams ? get a duplicate report card. Got caught while stealing ? cry like you have a widowed mother and a blind sister!

Gahh! all these suggestions are unwanted and so obvious that they are, it's just your friend having fun at your misery.They are not serious ones. These ideas don't help coz you never take them seriously and if you are someone who has taken them seriously then, I so want to click your picture, hang it on my wall and laugh at it everyday !

When your baajuwala Uncle comes with a meethai ka dabba, just because his 'chotu' scored 95% in board exams and you scored 75 or 80 percent becoz you couldn't mug up like a parrot day and night, all he wants to show you and your family that he has a brighter kid. He'll suggest you to aim for B or C grade colleges in any field, but don't listen to him, he himself did not study at Harvard neither will his 'tota beta'.

Your Bf is a loser !

Hmm, you are right ! can you drop me home, it's getting late? Yeah I would, but it's getting late for me too.

Okay, you have 200 bucks? I don't carry cash much, I will get a taxi and go home safe.

Gee ! I have 5 bucks, catch a bus !

ohh ! and you think my Bf is a loser ? Ass !

You aren't made for this profession even if it's your hobbie, you aren't good at it, just change it !!

Hmm, So what should I do ?

I don't know, you are good with pipes, become a Plumer !

It's PlumBer ! and you thought I should be changing my job. Sicko!

All these Really unwanted Counselors have a stinking mouth, just coz it doesn't cost them a penny, the day it starts costing them, they will keep their ass shut !!

You suggestions on this post ? Think Think ! You don't wanna be an asshole !

Congratulations

Congratulations Dear Nidhi Mangal for your marriage from the entire S4T Team and S4T's readers.
We wish you and Rohit all the very best for the life ahead.

MMX Anno Domini :D

Ladies and gentlemen, insane and sane,

Shit 4 Tat is back to give you some pain,

Presenting a summary of decade's first year end,

Led to a lot of views got changed,

CWG's money changed hands,

Kalmadi to Assange, Dolly to costly Oneeyan,

Oh shit, only 2 years left for the world to end,

Sit back and enjoy, 2010...

1) Blasted off:

Miss Universes and Miss Worlds can only wish for a peaceful world. 2010 saw terror blasts, earthquake in Haiti. 2011 might just see Pakistan disappear as a nation with blasts taking place there as often as Dolly Bindra was caught using swear words.

2) Radia Tapes:

Will 2011 see the untarnished reputation of Ratan Tata meet a blow? Only time will tell...And we hope we don't have to say Tata to this gem of a person. Although people are still confused about what Radia tape actually had. Some thought it was Radio Active. Some thought it was all-in-vain attempt by Barkha Dutt to become as famous on Twitter as Arnab Goswami. Also, Neera Radia might be a good enough contender in running for Rajya Sabha next time, or Bigg Boss, who knows.

3) Social only working and Wickedleaks:

Wicked leaks was THE THING to discuss in the latter half of the year. But how Julian Assange was framed is one another matter in itself. Probably her mistresses has planned to sing ‘Assange saareee raat, soniyo vey’ but he leaked before he could peaked. Talking of Internetting, apna Mark Zuckerberg got TIME person of the year award. Wah ladke! He also got portrayed brilliantly by Jerry Eisenberg in the Movie ‘The Social Network.’ And it all boiled down to the fact that he made all the sites he made because of a girl. Sigh. Also, the movie clearly told that we all loved the way he lied. Also, Twitter ruled. And will rule. If you are still not there, are you an Orkutiya? Seriously? Follow @shitfortat chupchaap.

4) Suresh Kalmoohe and co.:

Despite accolades and medals won by India at CWG, the world saw India in shameful light after the corruption accusations turned out to be true. Crores of money was misrepresented and every Indian now wishes that we never host any international event again.

5) Way too bigg was this boss:

She came, she yelled and she still stayed!! :O

Bigg Boss was at its worst in its 4th attempt. The industry's biggest failures were the contestants and it was pretty tuff to decide who to eliminate, since everyone sucked. Salman of course wowed audiences by BEING HUMAN...But he was the only reason people could withstand the show. Amitabh uncle returned with KBC in a valiant attempt to get the cash flowing at home, with Abhishek yet again failing at the box office. Is this why Amitabh and Shweta Bachhan are coming on Koffee with Karan for the zillionth time?

6) Game on!

Statistics proved that 2010 was the year of break ups. We can't really blame the boys for staying glued to the television throughout the year and ignoring their girls...This was the year of sporting action! India did extremely well despite the corruption controversies at IPL and Commonwealth Games. Sania Nehwal and Somdev became our new eye candy. Many records were broken by Team India in cricket, Ashes were reconquered by England and 2011 brings on the World Cup. Game set match, this was :D

7) Obama at Maa India

Mumbai's diwali was reduced to a quiet affair with President Obama making a visit. Firecrackers were prohibited, hawkers were kicked out, roads were only filled with policemen....No, it wasn't a happy Diwali for Mumbai at all. Manmohan Singh and Co. fell all over Obama, only to have him declare that US would have plenty of job opportunities in 2011. Huh! Did I hear anyone say Obama ki maa ki?

Rahul Gandhi tried to do an Obama by making a visit to a college in Ahmedabad. He messed up quite brutually and Gujjuland didn't take very kindly to him. The next Prime Minister of India? We don't think so.

8) Boxed office:Rajnican and being Dabbanged

Dabbang broke all records, and for a change we saw little of SRK around. But of course, he had to spoil the new year by starring in Koffee with Karan season 4 and moaning about his 'sad' life and him being 'lonely'. The Munnis and Sheilas took over the idiot box and discs all around, one can only wonder if this is the same India which is considered to be conservative. Rajnikanth sms's spread like fire. Shhhh, Rajnikanth reads shit for tat :-s

9)Break ups and make ups:

Salman and SRK fought and made up again this year. Kareena and Saifu, Bips and John, PC and Shahid (Maybe together/who cares), yawn yawn. Even Malaika and Arbaaz Khan are still together. Angelina and Brad didn't get married, as expected. Possibly the only 2 biggest weddings of this year were Shoaib-Sania and Shashi Tharoor-Sunanda.

Happy new year, people! May you have a fun filled, awesome year ahead =)

P.S- The title of the post was Abhinav's idea :D Cool naa? :D

Know Your Shiters

Hello Readers,

Before we celebrate the greatest occasion in Shit For Tat's history, please step aside and (let the drum rolls begin) congratulate our very loving Nidhi for getting engaged with her's Rohit. Big big big BIG congratulations to the couple. (keeping the drum roll going on)

So, Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls, its my pleasure to announce the fact the Shit For Tat has completed 2 years of its existence! Congrats to you reader log. Its just because of you people, and us of course, S4T is up and running.*teary eyes*

People, it is not an easy task to keep a joint blog running. We people have had numerous Yahoo messenger chats, heated discussions over gayish issues, over pity issues like AC, over important issues like Jobs, over pity issues like sex. Sorry :) Apart from the posting shitty posts, it has helped a lot to gain friends from all over. Mutual friends, friends of friends and what not, we have came across a long time, came across a lot of people, came across several hundreds of comments, first time visitors who stayed, one-time visitors who shitted and went away, and regulars like you all. Love you all from all the 4 chambers of our 4 hearts, That makes it 16 chambers. But who cares. Thanks for being there reading this.

For this special occasion, for the first time, we are about to reveal a something about the people behind and on the side of this blog.

Ashwin, Abhinav, Nidhi, Madhuri. Here is a small write up from each of them about you they actually are. In real life that is.

Madhuri Iyer


Hey. this is Madhuri Iyer. Btw, did most of you know my real surname is NOT Iyer?
Caught you!

No, I'm serious! My caste/community/whatever doesn't have surnames. My dad's name is my surname, so technically, I am Madhuri Kannan(my Dad's name) But my school insisted that I should have a last name and my dad's name should be my middle name, that's why dad put in Iyer because that's my community/caste/whatever anyway.

I was born in Bombay (it was called Bombay at that time re :O) and brought up in Ahmedabad. I am currently studying in my final year at Gujarat National Law University, Gandhinagar, Gujarat.
Interned in like a zillion parts of India, in law firms, companies, under lawyers in High Courts, Supreme Courts. Hoping to make a rapchik lawyer and do good for my country :D *hugs India*
Many of you have asked me what kind of lawyer I will become in the future. I will not become a criminal lawyer, because I do not like criminal law and it's not a field where girls can stick around unless they have godfathers in the profession. I am interested in labour laws and intellectual property rights for now. Building an interest in taxation and corporate law.

I was lucky to be able to meet Abhinav and Peter, my sft buddies in Hyderabad earlier this year. Wish I can meet Nidhi Mangal too :D

Looking for a job currently. Brb :P

Abhinav

Hi reader fox, I am Abhinav Bhatt. I am from Jaipur and currently in Bangalore, working ;)  I had a lame blog called Y2A Slog and nobody knew me except some millions of fans, err some 4-5 people who read and commented. That was it. But then I got a proposal from Peter to start writing for a Joint Blog. I accepted and see I am famous now! :) 4-5 people who read have converted to 40-50 and that's enough. From S4T, I have gained so many new friends which I could have never made. Through S4T, I learnt to love writing, whatever crap it may be, just write and get things out of your head. I thank you S4T people who letting me in. Thanks. For girls who like good hearted people, ping me separately. HeeHee.

Nidhi

Busy in Her Di's Marriage and her own dreams. Her Bio will come later. :)

Peter

Hello world !

If you don't know me,then probably you should jump out of a balcony and die (ideally speaking). But I don't want that to happen, not because I care or something but it's just that S4T is too small to see someone die on his birthday !!

I never wanted to reveal what I am, what I do, what I eat, what I like, what i hate, my age, my height, my weight, my colour, my desires, my plans, my past, my present, my future, not a single thing ! I wanted to be anonymous, but somehow I did open up in the beginning itself and then mingled up with the e-world and it felt right, in fact it became the priority and since then there has been no turning back and the best part is that I don't regret it even for a second. Now if my personal life interests you then, I have grown up in Jamshedpur (and that has been the awesomest time of my life), did my college (engg) from Hyd and working in Hyd. My family moved to Kolkata, as soon as I moved to Hyd. I have an elder brother. Enough for now ?? GOOD !!  Will let you guys know more about me on his 3rd birthday !

And now some exclusive S4T get together moments. Bear them

First Ever meetup. Nidhi and Peter in Kolkata

Indiblogger Meet bangalore 2010

Indiblogger Meet bangalore 2010

Indiblogger Meet bangalore 2010 

Abhinav Nidhi, Bangalore

Peter, Abhinav and Mads in Hyderabad

Mads, Amrita, Peter and Abhinav, hyderabad, Peter's Birthday Bash

Peter, Mads and Abhinav, Hyderabad

Peter, Abhinav Hyderabad

Peter, Abhinav, Amrita. (Amrita was a regular Shit For Tat reader and billi blogger in herself so we invited her. All boys look bad.)

P.S.: Abhinav is the only person to meet them all. Yo!

T-SHIT !!

Happy Diwali, folks! Let’s make the most of this Gujju New Year and we Sftians make a new year resolution to entertain you, poke fun at you, pretend we are the coolest things on Planet Earth and you are just some insignificant Pluto-ians, so on so forth. In short, we’ll make sure, things won’t change between us and you!! :P

Things have changed quite a bit since our last post. Our fellow sftian Nidhi Mangal is almost engaged and she’s loving it (No one has ever sent her those anti-marriage sms forwards, I guess) Abhinav Bhatt is still confused between 5 girls whom he likes (And none of those 5 girls like him…Oh wait, you already guessed that, didn’t you? :P) Mads is flooded with job offers from various law firms and companies and she’s too lazy to make her choice (At least 5 years of law school taught me to lie very well!) Peter is as usual in his own world…Good for us, we are safe from his outbursts at least for a while (If I am dead after this post is published, you know who is responsible for my murder)

Enough of my Harshita-ity (synonym for bakwas). Diwali means you all should be (AND BETTER BE!!) getting new clothes to wear. My target for this post is those lame-ass t-shirts with horrible captions on them. Just when you think, who the hell would wear such t-shirts, you see 10 dozen guys marching around in them. You can only roll your eyes at such wanna-bes. Like this:

1) Sorry girls, I only date models!

2) I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.

Who on earth will wear this t-shirt with such a one-liner? Makes dialogues from Rajneeti more cooler on your t-shirt, than this one!!

3) Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from many, it's research."

This is a regular quote seen as gtalk or Facebook captions. So spare us from wearing it on your t-shirt and announcing to the world, what a cool plagiarist with a halo on your head you are!!

4) The statement below is true.The statement above is false.

A boy would look sexier wearing a pink chaddi than having such a nonsensical statement stamped on his t-shirt.

5) I am Nobody. Nobody is Perfect. Therefore, I’m perfect.

Are we proving a theorem over here? This outdated one-liner was funny once upon a time in Mumbaai and the whole world, but face it, it’s cooler not being perfect these days J

6) This t –shirt turns green in the company of morons. (Incidentally, the t-shirt is green in colour)

This makes it seem like the wearer of the t-shirt is trying hard to be creatively cool. This one specially won’t work with girls.

7) I’m the person your mother warned you about.

Hey Bhagwan!! My mom would rather help you out in choosing t-shirts with better captions, than warning me.

8) Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Hang on, maybe I can fit a gun inside my mouth and shoot you, ala Rajnikanth style…

9) I don’t need no education.

10) I can only be nice to one person today. Today is not your day. And tomorrow’s not looking good, either.

You can send in your entries. The worst t-shirt caption will be awarded/rewarded :D

Going Up?

Unless you are Robert Langdon you can relate to this post. We all travel in Elevators aka Lifts, don’t we? Not only because we are lethargic to climb those boring stairs. Stairs? Naah. I am going to gym anyways or I walk 3 KMs daily to catch bus or Ooh… I am wearing high heels, how will I be able to use stairs re! But also because some of us might be afraid of using the Escalators. }:-P so when you step into usually 4 by 4 or slightly bigger Elevators you step into a strange world. You are inside a metal cube which is absoluckingfutely small and suspended with just a group of metal strings and you just hope that electricity doesn’t ditch you while you are in there. For a minute or so, you are stuck with complete strangers. You don’t know whether to smile there or not. You cannot know whether you should laugh there or not? Even if you’ve just cracked the most hilarious non-veg joke outside the elevator, you try to curb your laughter but sometimes it spurts out by itself and rest of the junta gets confused instantly as if they were wearing leaves instead of proper clothes. So here are we presenting some insight into the Escalator world and people using it. You must have experienced it unless you are a Claustrophobic.


1.       The Corporate Kind


These are usually the men in age group 35-55 and their face clearly suggests that they are bearing frustrations of work, inability to impress their young secretary, kids who do not listen to a word and tolerating a wife whose weight and demands are increasing faster than the number of the findings of fixed cricket matches. They carry the usual rotting pink color newspaper and a very serious expression as if they fill the highest Income Tax in the world and have just lost a million dollars in Share Markets. You even stare them and they are going to eat you up starting from your eyes without even burping. “You saw me? How dare you even look at me? Do I look like KFC Chicken Wings? Watch your eyes you jerk or I am going to take your tongue out of the lift on ground floor and take the lift to 14th with your tongue still licking the air on ground floor.” They keep themselves busy talking on cell phone or drowning into their Blackberrys.

2.       The Insecure Abla Naari

If you happen to be a girl entering a lift full of males, you ought to be little cautious. Of course, unless you feel very elated when someone asks you, ‘Hor, kii haal hai?’ usually, when you are stuck with males of all shapes and sizes, eyes all over your built, you have to be nervous. Even a guy can feel nervous if he is stuck between Oblique crowd, isn’t it? From a guy’s point of view, when you enter the lift and saw your sapno-ki-rani standing there, how can you not look at her? You have to inhale lot of air to get your tummy in, act as sophisticated as possible and look busy in reading the safety precautions there*. You try to look into her eyes and suddenly take your glance away. Khekhe. Now if you are that nervous girl, which we left stranded few lines ago and got drifted into Bhavnaas, let’s discuss her. She pretends that she has worn a short top/shirt which she tries to stretch downwards as if it’s elastic. She will try to look very busy and will keep on putting the strand of hair behind her ears which keeps falling on account of gravity. Even if you ask her time, her body shivers and trembles as if you have asked for her figure. Bahin, time hi poocha hai, calm down.

3.       The Peep-king Tom

Now this is the favorite. Everyone hates him. Him mostly. He is super duper interested to read the SMS you just received as if it’s his will. He wants to learn your name from your ID card so that he can name his kids the same and your ID Number is his lucky number somehow. The name of your company is as important to him as if these are the last words he wants to say when he dies instead of a ‘ilaha il allah wa mohammad rasul allah’ (there is only one god (allah) he will say Microsoft ahhh… Dead.  He wants to see every minute detail of all the assets he comes across. And they may range from any to any kind. He wants to start a conversation with any humanly-looking-figure so that even 30 seconds don’t go for a waste. ‘Oh you live there, oh I live here. Have you seen Dabangg? Oh look at the ceiling. Oh I killed a mosquito in the morning. Mosquito se yaad aaya, aajkal Dengue bahut fail raha hai, nahi? Bhains ki taang! Taang se yaad aaya, have you seen Lady Gaga? Oot-Pa-Taang.’ He keeps on staring at you, irrespective of your sex, till the point when you have to shake a little to make him realize that you are not a poster. He is not a pervert but the elevator’s ambience makes him do so. Creepy.

4.       The Notorious Kind

Then there are people of our kind. They cannot stop giggling in the lift. They try to hide their ever so smiling face with brilliant yellow teeth but they have to laugh without any joke so they will laugh out loud eventually. They find it alien to press all the strange looking buttons inside the elevator. They love to press the emergency button just to see how the alarm sounds like. They have to by heart the Safety Precautions* so they just recite them loudly. If by chance there exists a Mirror in the lift, they have to do all their make-up there itself.  If they are 2-3 in number, and because of dense population inside, have to find a place in opposite corners, they have to talk/whisper/signal the most important thing in life to each other without fail.

5.       The ‘Who dunnit Club’

AKA eeks kind, these folks have not taken a bath since last Holi. They have stopped using Deodorants when they saw the word inflammable on the pack. They stopped using a handkerchief because someone told them that the hankies are for the guys who wear panties. They have to have Mooli-K-Paranthe or raw Radish in their breakfasts or else they will die. So they have to do part away with the fart. Shit. Yes it is the same. And what better place than the Elevator with a small shiny and invisible exhaust fan to let it go. They can even do it without the sound. Bah, not discussing it any further.

*Safety Precautions: replace the world Elevator with Girlfriend and try to read the precautions next time you enter a lift. For instance, there is a line: Do not overload the Elevator beyond its limit. Keep going up and down folks!

Image Courtesy:
Agency: JWT Brazil
Creative Director: Ricardo Chester/ Roberto Fernandes
Art Director: Silvio Medeiros
Copywrither: Thiago Carvalho

FACEBOOKrimination !

'Online gender discrimination', heard of it ? yeah this time the needle has taken a 180 degree turn, Now the target are guys and girls are having time of their life. How is it true? Well I am talking about FB precisely. Still did not get it ?

Okay so for all the laymen, let me break this shit down in to lemons !!

Kids, We will take FB specimen and see what the inference is..

On a girl's Status Message which is as lame as: "is happy after watching twilight, Robert Pattinson is hot" or a mere smiley like this ":D",there would be ;

i)at least 20 likes and 30 comments, if the girl is pretty and the comments would be as lame as the SM itself.

commenter 1 (a guy) : I am happy for you too, keep enjoying :D (yeah why won't you be jerk, she is pretty)

commenter 2 (a lame guy/gay) : wow !! even I love Robert Pattinson !! (I mean WTF :O)

commenter 3 (this time a girl ) : hey babe wats up ? ( err u did not just read wats up wid her? fucking blind lady !)

commenter 4 (some newly added XYZ) : thank you for accepting my friend req (great and now you will spam her homepage, boy shez gonna regret it later and you are blocked for sure)

....and this continues till her next update comes up.

ii) at least 10 likes, and 20 comments, if the girl is average but way too frank and active on FB.

commenter 1 (a dude who is a flirt) : next time watch with me, you will be more happy (well why not, I mean obviously you know how to talk:| )

commenter 2 (some guy) : plot was good, movie was okayish, I hate Pattinson he looks gay (Okay, so finally someone with a genuine comment, YAY !)

iii) 5 likes and 2 comments even if the girl has hair all over her body other than her head !

On a guy's Status Message which is as sad as this "Met with an accident, broke my hand, 15 stitches in my ass, 5 front teeth gone, 5 months bed rest"

i) 2 likes (WTF :O), and 10 comments (ranging from sympathy to irritating ones)if the guy is popular and is handsome.

commenter 1 (his best friend): Man ! that is bad, get well soon mamu (thanks, now call me haramkhor !!)

commenter 2 (so called friend): sale ladki taap raha tha kya? lol, kaise gira ? and stitches on ur ass? now you are a certified asshole, LMAO (you just hit me where it hurts, let me get well and you are gone)

commenter 3 (guy's gf): I will come to see you tomorrow, got some work today (of course you do, now you will be busy for next 5 months, for sure).

On a girl's recently updated Photograph, where she is wearing a mini skirt or some kinda party wear, which of course makes her look good in the party, but makes her look better on FB.

i) 40 likes, and 50 comments, that too in just two hours :O

Commenter 1( of course a guy) : WOW !!!!! SEXY, DAZZLING, STUPENDOUS, AMAZING, MAGNIFICENT, SPARKLING, ETC ETC ( dude did not you use all your rubbish vocab in one comment ? and wtf is this "etc etc" eh ?)

Commenter 2 (of course a pervert) : I love you ( really ? like really ? LOSER !get the fuck outta here)

Commenter 3 (of course her best gf) : hawtyyy muaaah ( err, don't blame perverts now, if they get aroused by this PDA)

the funny part about the last comment is that it will have again 5 likes :O

On a guy's photograph, which is taken while sky diving and looks AWESOME !

i) there would hardly be 5 likes and 6 comments, and I am not making this up, I do have proof !

commenter 1 (his friend): amazing dude, which place is this ? (sky !! can't you see? )

commenter 2 (his office colleague): enjoy your trip ( of course I will, after all I don't have to see your face for a few days)

On a girl's Relationship Status that says "married, Committed or single"

i) If it's married,then there would be 100 likes and 150 comments depending on the size of the friend-list of course

commenter 1-100 (guys,girls, eunuchs) : congratulationssssss, happy married life !! (her next status message would be thank you all for those wonderful wishes )

ii) If the status says "In a relationship" then at least 50 likes and 50 comments ranging from shocks, to wishes to lame queries.

commenter 1 (some good OL friend) : When :O What: O How :O Why : O (alright there Mr.Aaj Tak, enough !)

commenter 2 (Her bachpan ka aashiq) : Wish you all the best in your life, take care ( LMAO, so cute you are =)) )

commenter 3 (the guy she is committed to) : hehe ;) (now what the hell is there to wink and laugh ? is it a joke for you ? bastard !)

iii) If the update says "single", then at least 20 likes by those guys who like her and 20 girls who are also single and hence happy to see this change.

commenter 1 (her office ka majnu) : hey update me with your number ya, long time. (wat ? really ? we daily meet in the office and I dun even smile at you :|)

commenter 2 (her other single friend, who is no more jealous) : congrats, welcome to the club girl (c'mon she had a nasty break up,give her some time. BITCH !)

If it's a guy with these type of Relationship status updates, there will maximum be 10 likes and at most 15 comments(including his own "thank you" comments) and all the comments would be "Congratulations" or somewhere on those lines, irrespective of what he has updated !!

It doesn't end here, it goes same for video updates, stupid fortune cookies and lame quiz results and beyond that. Not only confined to FB or orkut, it is even apparent on Blogsville.I had written a similar post before, but FB gender discrimination is way too itchy !!

Wait, is that your Date?!

Only one among us SFTians is committed, and the rest of us are committed to being single (All you new readers, read our individual blogs to find out who’s the one who’s committed among us! Free publicity khekhekhe)

We singletons are a curious case of sour grapes. Hence, we have nothing better in life to do except to make fun of the existing couples and discourage the prospective couples ;)

If you are in the former category and if you are in the later category or if you are single and looking like us, here’s SFT bringing you the top 10 people you shouldn’t DARE TO DATE!



1) The Boss

One wrong move, and you lose your job and you blew your other job! ;)
Professionally and personally both, the boss is always right. Even if he’s hot, don’t you dare look at him for more than 30 seconds. The hot bosses are only for fantasizing purpose. No dating purpose.

2) The teacher’s daughter/son

You really don’t want to pick up your date from your teacher’s place, specially if you date on weekdays. Specially if the date didn’t go out well, (since you were busy on the phone fighting after the date, you conveniently forgot to do your homework) you could very well be told off in class, made to stand in the corner of the class, and also be given a memo to be signed by your parents. Grades could be at stake too, so a big thumbs down, however hot the stakes might be!

3) The Friend’s EX

How desperate can you get? When your friend axes, you grab at the ex! This is a total no-no.

4) The Business Partner’s daughter/ Family Friend

Firstly, not many Indian parents will be over the moon to find out that your inner motive of going to ‘Uncle’s place’ was not to look at his collection of novels, but was to hook up with one of his collection of pretty young things. And if things go wrong, your dad’s business be dammed and you my friend, should forget about grabbing any inheritance share in your dad’s property.

5) The Indian cricketer

Ok, so Dhoni saw Sakshi at this hotel and it was love at first sight for him, and he tried and tried for her and at last she surrendered. But girls, that was Dhoni. You have no options left now. Who do you want for a companion? Yuvraj Singh? Harbhajan Singh? Irfan Pathan was good, until we heard rumours of him and VJ Anusha. He’s seriously not keeping it stylish anymore, is he? There’s Virat Kohli, but his life is on the fast-track lately :P

6) Your next door neighbour

It’s as bad as having a live in relationship with no one to sleep with. You open the door, in shorts, uncombed hair, unwaxed legs and behold, your neighbour-boyfriend sees you in your AVATARish avatar and it’s simply a very pretty fright for him. If you think it’s bad only for girls, then putting myself in a boy’s shoes (EWW, stinky and smelly!!) and thinking...well, it’s equally bad for them. Our boy simply sits down to see a football game and his neighbour just needs to crawl across the door to nag him or to fight with him for not noticing her new eyeliner. Tch tch…love thy neighbour as thyself...NOT!

7) Ankit Fadia

You really want to date a hacker despite him being cute, 25 years only and immensely smart? He’ll scrutinize your girly chats with your friends and even if you gushed at Ranbir Kapoor, our pretty boy will not like it.

8) Angelina Jolie

You’ll find your time spent in adopting an Indian cricket team and less with her. Give me one good reason to date her now!

9) Rakhi Sawant

You really considered her? GET OUT OF SHIT FOR TAT,YOU !!

10) A SFTian

However hot we are, however cool we are, we are just going to play hard to get and pretend we are not overwhelmed by the laurels (and hardys :P) you are gonna dump on us. We are proud to be modest.

Do you dare to date any of us? :P

I am participating in the WeBlog's Sleepy Sunday contest! You may read other participating posts HERE

DisLike or Like Dis ?

You can quit reading this post now, if you belong to any of these categories;

1. You are a Facebook illiterate or you don’t have a Facebook account.

2. You are dumb and you don’t get

SFT jokes (which btw obviously makes you dumb)

3. You still use Hi5/orkut.

And by chance if you belong to the third category, you should jump from the nearest balcony and die, because you are just about 6-7 years behind where the world is right now. So by the time you start using facebook, we will have our children getting married and reproducing online, now don’t ask me how is that possible? Because anything is possible, I mean Mads recently found out that Suniel Shetty is the brand ambassador of some xyz brand of shades, now beat that!

Now, coming back to this post,SFT thinks that there are zillions of Fan pages and groups on FB which people join/like and forget. So what is the use of joining them in the first place itself? You want to spam your wall? No! I just join them and block the feed. So again, why do you join them? Err no idea…I just like to! Wow that’s like the coolest logic ever!

If we break it down in to the types we will have these:

The Essentials: Schools/colleges/universities, TV shows, favourite stars, personalities, books, writers, etc. Which you join because you belong to them or like them and you can probably get the latest information from them, find your old buddies. It’s all useful and one of the basics of any social networking site. So if you only join these groups and pages, you just had a light escape ;)

The Not-So-Essentials: The perfect example would be ‘tera hone laga hoon’ group. Okay you saw the movie, you liked the song, and you drooled over Mr. Kapoor/Miss Kaif, now what? You will go to that community and tell the fans how much you liked this song? Those guys probably know it already, they are JUST like you.

The Non-Essentials: This whole post is to emphasize on this particular category, SFT has been observing this bakwas phenomenon since long, although one of its co-founders might just get MAD and kill the author of this post. Anyway putting my life at risk, I just want to give ‘thumbs down’, for these type of groups/pages:-

“After putting the toothpaste on the brush, I put water on it”- OMG you put water? I put Harpic, maybe that’s why my teeth shine more.

“Sometimes when I walk, I put my feet on those square shaped tiles”- Great, so did you add that in your resume?

“The teacher asking you a question and your friend next to you whispering the answer”- So learn from him/her instead of making a FB page about it.

“Thank you Pakistan, for taking Sania Mriza, now take Rakhi Sawant also”, yeah and take this jobless person also who made this Fan page and all those who joined it.

“I want to talk to you, but I feel I am annoying you”- Oh, well then maybe you are.

“The guy who discovered milk, what the hell was he trying to do with the cow”- How the hell did you think of that? You are no less pervert either.

“Hi, I am a boy, I will say I love you but when you fall for it I will walk away”- Ok, all the drama aside, you are a girl who made/joined this community, right? Then why are you lying?

"I say "OUCH" before I'm even sure it hurt... just in case"- I will say OUCH on your behalf after you are dead in my hands, just for this!

I can really go on and on and on about such pages, but there is hardly any point. People like them and they join them and then forget about them. It’s not awesome to join all the communities you like for like 10 seconds. Else why do you think Mr. FB has a limit for joining pages and groups too (How did I know? Yes, from the same source you found out from!)

Wai two Aye!!...Happpy Birthday!! :D

He stormed the blogger world with a 3 letter name,

Thought he was cool , attaining all the fame,

Who the hell is Y2A, we wondered,

Why does he hide his identity, we pondered,

Is he a he? At least, we were sure about that ;)

Why does he hide his pics? Is he fat?

Slowly, Y2A opened his shell,

Hi! I'm Abhinav Bhatt, thus, he pinged our gtalk bells,

Peter thought he was the man,

Nidzzi thought....well, of everybody she's a fan ;)

Harshita thought he was a geek,

Mads thought he was a show off and a freak.

Little did we know what fate had in store,

Best buddies of Abhinav, became us 4,

Battled with bloggers, fought for one another,

Though we ain't any sister and brother,

A bond ties us tight, no question of drifting apart,

We chat, we laugh, we cry, we fart.

Happiest Birthday to Y2A turned Abhinav Bhatt !! Have a great day ahead...Wishing you all the love and luck for the future :) :D

Happy Birthday to the Ladizz log ka man - Peter ;)

It was some blah-blah years back that an Eminem-isshtyle laughter (hell! it shud be a howl, babies don't laugh when born hawww) broke the silence of a random labor room ;) and the boy-with-the-sexy-smile was born.

His parents named him Ashwin but the world recognized his immense talent and due to some ahem! sort of reasons that cannot be disclosed in public, his friends started calling him - PETER :D :D Rest is, as they say, HISTORY :) ;)

So, herez a big HAPPY BUDDAY wish for our favorite rapper, philosopher, co-shitter, dreamer, believer, singer and MY very-own Hero :)

For people who are just a part of the crowd, birthday wishes are easy to write... but for someone like you, it was a challenge because we really have no clue what exactly should we write that would justify the wonderful person that you are :)

For now, adjust with this small wish from all of us...

So here are some of the chhoti/moti wishes --

- May God bless you with many more moments to smile and so you can make gals go weak in their knees. OMG, stop smiling...I can see one of them falling :|

- Wish you loads of success and happiness.

- I wish that someday this year, you will realise that what a gifted singer and performer you are ...and you'll step out and tell the world about it. I will eagerly wait for that day to come and will be the first one in the row yelling at the top of my voice while you sing :)

- I wish that someday people understand the nice guy you are behind that stupid frown of yours.

- I wish that someday you'll believe that you indeed are someone people can count on and feel safe with.

- I wish that all your dreams come true (ofcourse the ahem! ones too)

- I wish that your year and life is filled with less of WTF days and more of OMG, wow! days ;)

Last but not the least, I lifted this from someone especially for you :

"Few tips on your b'day :

1. Forget the past-u can't change it.

2. Forget the present. I didnt get you one."

LOL... I know that was a lame one..but that's all we could manage right now.

So once again from Mads, Nidhi, Accilet and me, wish you a happy birthday and an awesome year ahead :)

On behalf of the Shitters - Posted by Harshita.

The SFT AnTHEME !

Since the time SFT came in to existence, it had lots of changes but a theme song, an anthem was missing. So it is here finally. Hope you all like it :)

The SFT anTheme

If you can spit, your wit, then you can spit,

That’s it, if you can’t spit, your wit, then you wit

Sucks, it’s a shit, just admit, it.

So lemme split it, for you, it ain’t whit,

Now don’t grit, your teeth, just look at it,

Bow down & greet, coz we kick out the misfits,

It’s just about fit, it can lit, you so sit,

And go through it, Awryt ?

I ain’t talking about your balls or bat,

I ain’t talking about your cheap stunts and spat,

I ain’t talking about silly this and that,

Bitch I am talking about Shit for Tat.

Folks, we crack jokes, which chokes, your interior,

So if you feel inferior, laugh at yourself period,

we throw darts at, the targets, so lets

crack that funny bone, which you own son,

for fun, and no pun, intended,

but I recommend that, don’t foresee, just read it closely,

and have no mercy, tickle your tonsil, die in your jersey,

unfold your glee, & don’t let your smile freeze, it’s free.

Shit for Tat, yeah like a mouse chasing a cat,

Yeah, like you talk, when you chat,

so, laugh loudly and get choked with mouth cough

Roll on the floor and laugh your ass off.

Indian Blogger League (IBL)

Since the whole world is tweeting, FBing, gtalking and maybe even hi5ing (is anyone even on that social networking site anymore? :O) about IPL, sft shouldn't be far behind.

We rapped about IPL season 3 and this time we'll show you how our bloggers would fare if they were put for auction in ipl season 5 !!

1) Amrita Roy- With a figure like hers, she should be a White Mischief Girl!! Ahem. I mean a cheerleader for Royal Challengers Bangalore (*whispers in your ear*-wearing the skimpiest clothing), in laywoman terms for this i-hate-cricket girl.

2) Harshita- Preity Zinta is thinking of selling her IPL team. Anyway, Harshita always travels around the world. Why not buy Kings XI Punjab team, girl? You get to travel, be with hot guys from 10 teams, and ummmmmmmmmmmm...Ok, you get the picture!! And I'm sure Yuvi will hit 6 sixes again if you give him your special jhappi and pappi ;)

3) Nidhi- She should be in the team management of Royal Challengers Bangalore team. Why? Because whenever they lose, Vijay Mallya's beer will not go down the drain...It'll just go down Nidhi's throat :D

4) Peter- We need some peppy, rap theme songs for our teams, dude!! Get to work!!

5) Abhinav- He can design the websites for all the teams. Did you know Bill Gates decided to retire after he heard about how good Abhinav Bhatt is at computers?

6) Dhanya- She wants only one job. Looking, staring, leeching, drooling, fantasizing, ogling at Brett Lee. Considering his F(A)itness, Dhans and Lee can warm the bench in the dugout happily, all throughout season 4.

7) Shaunak- Instead of holding contests for tickets for PRINCE, he can do better in contests for tickets for IPL !!

Any more additions? You're welcome to contribute :D

Happy Bday Mads~~~ !!!

Biggest fan of Rahul dravid whose id itself shows she is ‘one man woman’, the girl who makes us laugh untilll we fall from our chair through her Dad’s and Mom’s Joke. Her hunt to Mr write from Bus ka conductor to Mr Rahul Dravid her moodswing and bina matlab ka break from from her blog, her “pissed che moments” she hot hits for guys goes on starting with RB, Imran Khan, John Ab, etc.

Mads is mad and she makes every one mad and take in a different world of madness where we know being mad is being different!!!
We love mads for her mad talks, mad posts, her mad-bad moodswing, coz that ain't bad ;)
Today on this special day. we all want to wish u Very Happy birthday.

We are wishing you another year
Of laughter, joy and fun,
Surprises, love and happiness,
And when your birthday’s done,
we hope you feel deep in your heart,
As your birthdays come and go,
How very much you mean to us,
More than you can know.