Tweet For Tat

The world is twittering. Aren’t you? Terminologically Twitter is a free social networking and micro-blogging service that enables its users to send and read other users' updates known as tweets. Yeah, another site on which you have to make an account, new id, another password to remember, 1 aur jhamela!

The original idea was simple. Connect with your friends in 140 characters or less. SMS of the Internet. But it has triggered into a phenomenon. Almost every celeb or so called celeb is here. If they are not on Twitter, no one loves them. It has made one to one interaction so easier. You can praise or slam any one here directly. Just mention them like ‘@iamsrk you are srgay!’ and they will get to know.

But, what it means for common mango people like us. It makes people go crazy. In the same way as men go crazy when they see free liquor and women go mad when they see 50$ OFF sale, it is addictive. Some of the actual real tweets are like these:

The Celebs:

@juniorbachchan: To @iamsrk and @kjohar25. Thank you so much, can't thank you'll enough. You guys were awesome! Just made my day. Love you both.

@chetan_bhagat: just abt the only thing i have in common with apple - i don't advertise either. still ppl know.

@bdutt: we debate whether books can survive in the digital age. is the net making us smarter or stupider

@kjohar25: If only we could free ourselves from complexes,insecurities and unreasonable desires and ambitions...we would be a dedicated democracy....

@priyankachopra: Good morning world!! It's a rainy day today and freezing do.. Chalo what's new.. Hehe..!!! Xoxo

Sometimes they become saints, next time they start publicizing themselves.

The common folks like us:

@anon1: hello @realpreityzinta, I love you... all your parts!

@anon2: wow wow wow! @shahidkapoor replied to me.. maaa.. I am going mad!

@anon3: good morning tweethearts.. just had super hot coffee, feeling sleepy again.. burp!

These kind of tweets are still digestible and not that shitty but sometimes people cross their social limits and tweet like this:

@baxiabhishek: Dad is no more; we're fighting to get mom well. She's in hospital with multiple fractures; out of danger though.

What the holy shit? Seriously, how can someone tweet when such a big havoc has happened?

Then there are the normal funny tweeters:

@danielafariaf: I did not slap you, I just hi-5-ed on ur face

@oneliners: If at first you don’t succeed, sky diving is not for you..

So?

So nothing that was just a tutorial for our beloved readers about Twitter. And an announcement..

Yes, we are not going to stay away from this melodrama.

Start following us on Twitter http://twitter.com/shitfortat

We could have just tweeted in 140 words to follow us on twitter but we posted so many words. So just follow us otherwise.. Hu hahahahaha! It is actually a useful jhamela. Just remember 'Twit Twit Hota Hain'...

P.S.: We have just conducted a Plastic Surgery on the blog. How’s the new look..??

Hey Ya, I wanna just break up with you, my love!

Girls, as promised, we are here to bring you some awesome break up lines to help you get rid of him :P

Begin your sentence with 'Actually'. Why you ask? Break up conversations also need some style and adaa while you say it!

1) Actually, I'm not straight :P
In most circumstances, your bf can surely read this as a lie. But oh well, sometimes it works.

2) Actually, You are too good for me.
The pitiable damsel in distress or poor little rich girl act mostly does the trick. Oh, I'm not your types. You are too nice and decent. You don't deserve me. Shy is coming.

3) Actually, I think we need a break.
The best and most effective way to start a conversation which ends your relationship.

4) Actually, I never thought of you in that way. You are like a brother to me.
This one is like a stab in the back for your bf. Try not to use this one. It really hurts. I mean boyfriend to brother. Errr.. Spare me the horror!

5) Actually, I like somebody else. A boy, btw.
Ouch. Our girl is bold and beautifully frank. She lashes out at our poor victim and dumps him in the bin. Even a Splitsvilla contestant couldn't have done a better job.

6) Actually, I'm bored.
She sure wants to have all the fun. This juggling boys girl can directly attack and judging by the type of guys, she would choose...I don't think they would even mind.

7) Actually, my parents don't approve of you/ We are from different castes.
And I bet you never thought about that when you started dating him? LAME !!

8) Actually, I'm becoming a nun.
If your bf is really miserable or if your bf is really stupid, then go for this one !

9) No actually on this one- Scream at the top of your voice- YOU ARE ALWAYS WITH ABHISHEK (All guys have a best friend called 'Abhishek'. Period) You don't pay attention to me anymore. It's always football match with Abhi abhi ke abhi, or cricket with him. GO TO HELL !!

Guys hate their best buddies getting insulted. They'll show themselves out of your house rather than losing their dear Abhisheks.

10) Actually, we need to talk.
Need a girl say anything more to scare off a guy permanently? Guys HATE discussions and even if you didn't intend breaking up with him, he'll assume the same and BANG- you are single, watch out world !!

We welcome contributions ;)

How to tell if a guy is cheating

Tiger Woods isn't the only man to stray away when he already has a fabulous woman by his side. Did it plant some seeds of doubt in your head about your man? Now, you needn't go all the way to Bindaas channel's Emotional Atyachaar(sucks, no!!) to run your man through a loyalty test. Here are the surprising yet useful tips to find out if your dude is being unfaithful to you.

• He smells different. “When he comes home, if he doesn’t smell the same as he did in the morning, and it isn’t the scent of soap in the gym or at your home, it may be because he’s showered at her place,”

• He’s superprotective of his gadgets. “The main way that trysts are found out is through the discovery of incriminating e-mails, IM chats, cell phone texts or bills So if he’s being unfaithful, he may guard his gadgets or act really defensive when you innocently touch his phone or computer. It should be a giant red flag if he readily gave you passwords in the past, and now he’s more evasive.

• He sings “Tera Hone Laga Hoon”- Oh yeah - your guy never sang a good romantic song for you, you never heard him whistling and all of a sudden you hear him singing “Tera Hone Laga Hoon, Khone Laga Hoon”. You see him drunk in thoughts (heehee why can't I publicize my own blog, huh?), spending more time in terrace talking on phone for long time- especially late night calls, admiring nature (moon for example)

• He is more Tip-Tap now – Generally when you start going around, you see your guy is more groomed, neat hair cut and all. But when the fish is in the net, he comes to his real self, Arjun Rampal hairstyle, Long beard like Baba Ram Dev. So when u see your BF is spending home time in front of mirror, means Daal main jarur kuch kala hai.. ya fir Puri daal hi kali hai :P

• He steps 'down' the grooming--Literally-- “This is so obvious, but it’s a sign many women miss: If your man starts grooming down there without you requesting it, that could be an indication that he’s spending more time naked.” So if he has another chick to impress with his sexual prowess, he may emulate those ultra-trimmed guys.

• Crumpled and wrinkled-- Whenever he comes to meet you outside or at your home, his clothes are crumpled, hair is messy, and he looks distracted and fidgety. Then you can be sure that he can't be trusted.

If you are nodding at these points and muttering abuses for your man, make sure you confront him right there right now. Men cannot take confrontations and discussions and sooner or later, they'll confess it all or call you a loser who keeps suspecting him. If he turns the tables on you, you will know that this relationship was never going to work.

To make things easier for you, we shitters are going to bring to you, in our next post, some break-up lines. Ready and easy to use, just for you!

To Nidhi, With Love

Hello Nidhi,

From all the Shitters (including Harshitter) and the readers of this blog, we wish you a very fast recovery and we want you to come back to our lives and the blogging world as soon as possible. We missed you a lot. Love you. :)

Your dhuuu(aaandhaaaar) lovers,
The Shit for Tat Team

--

To the reader log,

This is just to inform you that the most lovable shitter,Nidhi the Dreamweaver, undergone a surgery on last Tuesday Jan 12th 2009. She is fine now, the surgery was a success. And she will be rocking very soon. We would ask you to comment here wishing her luck and a faster recovery because we all know we all want to get soaked and get drunk in the thoughts again.

Thanks! :)

The S4T Team

--

Here are some small and big wishes from our side to the one and only,

Nidhi Mangal

Let's LOLcome 2 zero 1 zero !

2009 Was funny and if you do not share the same opinion as we do, then lets read this post out and by the end of it we will have some congruency for sure. We make serious things funny yeh humara hunar hai, isse logon ki fatt ti hai :P

FILMF – (main fa ko fa bolta hun)

For almost one fourth of the year there were no Multiplex releases, only one major film released begging audience to come to the theater (Aa Dekhen zara) but People ignored the beggars. The later half belonged to ,

I) The Gaalis : KAMINEYs, inglorious BASTARDS, three IDIOTS, KAMBHAQT ishq. People were heard using the names in the most creative ways possible, e.g, “chal be idiot, dekhtey hain”, and once a little girl shouted seeing the Kaminey Posters “ Papa Kaminey, Papa Kaminey!”

II) Guns and Poses : Quick gun Murugun, Wanted (no we dun want it), Unknown - Men origins: wolverine, G.I. Joe’ley (Don’t kill me if it sounds like the Bengali version of Jiya jale), Transformers, Generators, Invertors etc. etc.

III) Futuristic /Unrealistic: Avatar – Ek adbhut Duniyaa, 2012 (let 2013 come & I will kill the director for scaring people), Terminator salvation, Amavasya – Ek adbhut duniya ( why girls are going gaga over a white-skinny-bloodless-anaemic- guy. VAMPIRES SUCK, Period)

IV) The Lullabies : Wake up Sid, London Dreams, Do Knot Disturb.

SPORTS

I) Easy Tiger: Man you JUST DID it! We all had an extramarital affair with him, Yes everyone in the world and by that we mean all the girls, guys, 50-50s, shemales, females, and all the possible living beings. He should compensate for everyone, now WOOD he or WOOD he not?

ii) Delhi’s Dangerous Belly: Delhi’s Pitch turned out to be a bitch, but Our clever Delhi Association with the help of BCCI did exceptionally well to escape from the gruesome punishment, who said .money can’t buy everything ?

POLITICS

i) Ohh bum ahh : Never seen a Ass like that , Da doing doing doing :P

ii) Flop’enHagan : There were so much heated up discussions that temperature actually raised rather than getting down and hence now onwards Denmark will be the landmark for the controversies.

iii) Kasab Se : “Kasab se mainey kuch nahi kiya, kasab se main toh movie dekhney aaya tha Mumbai, Police ne pakkad liya, 33 crores laga rakhe hain mujh pe, itna mere desh ko de dein toh yeh panga he band ho jayega hamesha k liye .“ Yeah Right !! Even SRK looked like him when he came to Mumbai in late 80s. Matlab kuch bhi hai yeh toh.

iv) Tel lene gaya gana : We also want a different State for 4 of us. Else we are going for hunger strike. Yes Government let ‘Shit for Tat’ be a separate state. We will call it www.S4T.com/ parent blogspot thing shouldn't be attached to it.

REALLY? SHOWS ?

i) Rakhi Ka Elesh’war : Do I need to speak about this show?It had all the reasons in this world for not watching it and number 1-20 were Rakhi and Ravi Kishan !

ii) Biggie and Bossy : Was it fixed? Was it? Was it? It was! Was it? It was! It was! ..I mean How do you decide who is more stylish between a model and a Pahelwan ? Do you even need to think ? But the Annoying Pahelwan beats everyone, actors, music directors, comedians, vidheshi kudi , drama queen ki mummy. Sahi mein Singh was King !

iii) Iss seduction se mujhey bachao – Kaikuuu ? when you have hot hot gals....okay only gals exposing ?

iv) 10 kadam Aagey than last year : It was supposed to be for mango people but considering TRP games, they made it for Celebs, but really agar mere saaaaaaaath naaaaai zhelllllaaaaaaa toh kyaaaa zhellllaaaaaaa ?

The INTERTAINERS

i) Face Books it all : Farmville, I mean Agriculture should have been a compulsory subject for today’s generation. Planting, growing and harvesting virtual crops, trees, this is what maximum of us have done this year. Ohh!! Btw did you know that KRK (from Big Boss) claims that his Farmville k bhains ka chara comes from Scotland ?And Let’s not talk aboutMafiass. I blocked the feed long back.

ii) Twitter : Buddy one smart comment for this post and I will block you, okay ? #S4Tblocks.

iii) Google Wave : Himesh claims that his Radio wave is stronger than google wave –MTV ticker.

iv) Orkut: That’s an endangered species specially found in the Suburbs of India and Brazil.

v) Google: It stopped working for a few minutes and the world almost collapsed, I think this will what exactly happen in 2012.

P.S.: Happy New Year folks... Any suggestions from your side will add to the fun.. Thanks for reading and commenting on this blog.. We APPRECIATE (sh)it!