Sunday, February 22, 2009

R*ck Off

Sunday, February 22, 2009
Dark alley. Spiders hanging from the ceiling. Squeaking sounds was coming from the holes in the wall. He kept on walking towards the darker part. At the end of the tunnel he was in, he saw a familiar room. With fungus and yeast sticking to the wall, in addition to the beautiful ecosystem and life’s presence, he felt home. It was the all familiar green room. Literally green because of the fungus mind you! A broken window allowed some light to peep in. As he pushed the door and entered, he saw himself in the broken mirror. What he saw was not something he had wished for. He saw a kiss mark on his forehead. Ehhhhhh... He shrieked in his usual tone. He came closer to the mirror. He tried to clean the mirror to see his dubious mark clearly. He pulled out his hanky from his pocket. He cleaned up the mirror. As he was doing that, he noticed that there was something scribbled on the hanky. It was garbled, he couldn’t make out. He tried to concentrate. It was 3 letters with a kiss mark, same as his forehead. It said... “K. Jo.”

“Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii”, Shahrukh woke up. He was panting. Without even blinking he glanced toward the other person sharing the bed with him. He thought it would be his wife but he still removed the blanket to make sure. It wasn’t her. It was his chuddie buddy. Karan.

“Ehhh kkkkarran… what are you doing here.. huh? Ehh huh? Why... ehhh?”. Karan smiled. Sharukh was already panting stood up and declared, “I have got an idea. It’s been a long time we made a hit movie together.” Karan interrupted, “Oyeee, We just made one!” Shahrukh said, “Not this kind. I just had a vision. We shall make a movie based on rock music. I just want to cast 3-4 people and we shall make a low budget movie. Of course you will direct and produce. And I will be called Aditya in it. Naam toh suna hi hoga!”

Dharmaaaa Production Present
A Green Chilli Film
Rock Off
(A Shit-For-Tat Blogie*)

Aditya is a common man working in a particular state’s (whose name can’t be disclosed) Electricity Board. He may look like a lean, dull boring looking man with less hair and wrinkles all over his face. He feels that his life is as exciting as a Baseball player in East Timor. But he has a passion. A passion for singing which got subsided because of parivar ki jimmedari and all that and because of some reasons which will be disclosed later. In spite his dull features, he has a super hot wife. (Damn! says the author). The looks of his wife can’t be depicted on this blog because it has got some female moderators and readers. Shh back to Bloggie. Aditya is also very worried because of the growing meetings of his wife with a neighborhood rockstar named Prem(height: 5 ft 10 inch. Heavy non understandable accent of English. Takes his shirt off randomly). Aditya’s life is very boring.

One day he was coming from his daftar to his home and suddenly the tire of the bus bursts. Thankfully it isn’t a blast. Just a usual puncture. Yes, what if the movies don’t show any reality. We at Shit 4 Tat are as real as green Martians. He utters, “Kkkkya yaar.. huh! Eehhhh huh!” As a result he has to walk back home. As he walks down he sees his wife and the Macho man the rockstar going towards a certain side of the road. He grabs a autowalla and says, “Bhaiyya, inka peecha karo. Huh ehhh huh!” The Autowalla is veteran whose mere size and looks make Aditya say... “huh Ohh ohh Okkkk…. Huh huh!” He just decides to follow them on foot. He runs and finds that those 2 culprits were entering a big rock show. He tries to get in but the guards there stop him to do so. “Bring tickets you moron!” they growl at him. “Damn! ehhh!” he says.

This moment in his life makes him realize that being old looking and acting boring certainly has some disadvantages. He decides that there is only one way to get back to his old golden days and his wife.

Rocking On again.....

To be continued...

*Note: We have lawyer on our blog's moderator list. Beware pirates. Yeh new word Bloggie note karke patent kiya jaaye meelord!